15 months

My little sweetness.

You are 15 1/2 months now.

I hate it when I am late for 'month' posts...I feel as though someday you will read this blog and notice that I was usually a week or so late and you're gonna call me on it. Well, ya know what? I was busy cleaning your butt, picking boogers out of your hair, and stepping on cheerios.

I have grown to love those things.

You know what else I love?

You.

Everything about you. Your 8 teeth.

The sweet days, I love.

The days you drive me insane, I love.

My ABSOLUTE favorite part of 15 months:

YOU PUT YOURSELF TO BED.

You get tired, rub your eyes, walk upstairs and grab the bars of your crib. Then you shout MAMA! and you plead with these little pleading eyes....as if to say PUT ME IN and LET ME SLEEP !!!

Can I have it any easier?? You may not sleep long at all...but at least the getting there is good.

You LOVE your belly button. You have a hard time finding it because your potbelly is so big, but you know it's there and you try to lift your stomach up so you can see it. You like my belly button too, which is only cute when we are at home, because you like to pull my shirt up.

You have started to like food again, which is HALLELUJAH chorus awesome. When I ask you 'is that good?' you don't say 'mmm' instead your eyes get really wide and you nod your head slowly up and down. You are certainly very expressive.

The last few months have [in general] been so amazing, fun, & fulfilling. So much so, that daddy and I are getting our heart strings pulled and the thought of making another one just like you [in general] makes us smile.

I love you Rumi.

xo, mama

itchy itch

I wrote this post a week ago and it's been sitting as a draft. Waiting. Waiting for me to hit publish. After a week of processing and pondering aaand....more processing, I'm ready to hit publish.

So...here goes.

I am getting the baby itch.

I see pregnant bellies and my heart swells a bit. In the card section buying a 'congratulations on your baby boy' for my cousin and her son Luca I got a little misty eyed. Then I got a smile and a big-big-oh so big lump in my throat. I told my husband and he said 'well... you are already at a better place than the first time. Cause we weren't ready at all then. See how I spun that for you?'

So.

I don't know what this means exactly! I don't know if this means: let this little seed/idea simmer and culminate and grow and take over our hearts and if we get pregnant, celebrate? Or...should we decide 'let's make a baby' and put on my bedroom eyes and get husband to jump on me and give me everything he's got before we have a chance to change our minds? Haha. [I hope that made him blush]

I'm curious friends, what did you do, if I may ask? Did you decide to try? Or just let the chips fall where they may? Did you try for a specific gender?

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Well, regardless, I'm just glad I'm finally at this place. Those of you who have been around HGBB for the last year or so can vouch that I never thought this day would come. And for my real life friends who I haven't told yet...well, now you know!

Big heart swells, xo.

Y

my mom is rad

Feed The Poor, Feel The Bliss! from Georgian Banov on Vimeo.

My mom is so rad. Besides being a great mother to me, she is inspiring in so many ways, to many people. She is an artist, ordained minister of the Gospel, entrepreneur, business owner, world traveler, shopper extraordinare, and not to mention she's hilarious. But one thing that she has been doing lately just blows my mind. She is a garbage dump treasurer. And the 'treasures' aren't material, the treasures are people. She spends her time and money going to garbage dumps around the world and she finds diamonds in the rough. She brings them hugs, joy, love, food, clothes and Jesus.

She is my hero. Watch this video and you will understand why.

Happy Mother's Day!

the little [big] things.

Last week an epic thunderstorm blew into town. Something about the crazy wind and thunder and lighting rolling in the distance got me thinking, got my heart churning. Standing on the balcony next to Chris I blurted out:

'why is it so hard to live in the NOW of life??'

Like most people, I spend a lot much time thinking about the future. About our next house. The next baby. The next horizon. Thoughts like 'when that one thing comes through...when that one thing changes...when those pieces to fall into place.' Dreaming is crucial, of course. Without dreams we would be hopeless. But dream too much and you lose sight of now. Of what's your reality. So I question, why can't I just live in the 'now' and be satisfied? I propose that maybe the day-to-day, the ins and outs of daily life can be mundane. Tunnel vision of sorts. But I don't want to wake up in 10 years and realize my babies turned into kids while I was sleep walking.

Truly, I want to embrace and savor this life that I HAVE, not the life I want. The life that is staring me in the face, daring me to enjoy the little things and not just the grand moments. The life that is messy and crazy and beautiful and challenging.

Rue woke up at 12:30 [thank you tooth #8] and at first I was in a mumble-groan-gripe-exhausted-bad mood and tried to get him back to sleep with no avail. So, I picked him up, and for the next hour or so, I snuggled him in the rocking chair and ran my fingers through his hair. I stroked his little cheeks and stared into the deep darkness of his eyes. He stared right back, and talked to me, in his sweet little mumbo jumbo jibberish language. He rubbed my arm. And then one moment he cupped my cheek so gently and just held my face in his hand. My heart exploded into a million pieces and I couldn't find a trace of bitterness that I was losing sleep and that I would probably be useless the next day. I was enjoying and savoring and soaking up every second of our little nighttime rendezvous.

Today, I am certainly tired, but ohhh so satisfied. I enjoyed a little [big] thing.