featherweight

I blame Pennsylvania's soil; it's very fertile.

And apparently so, because all my best friends are pregnant! They are making the huge transition into new territory, another division completely. 1 to 2 kids = The Heavyweights.

As much as I hate to admit it, I am feeling a little left in the dust. I'm still a Lightweight. Is that strange? Is it immature to feel that way?

I should clarify that I am thrilled for them. I am. 100%. And I am not jealous in the slightest.

I am also not ready for number 2.

So what's my deal??? Is it that I want to relate to my peers?

This is what it is: Now that Rue is the most sweet, joyful, fun & full of life boy and not the crazy cryfest cranky mc crankster clawing miserable baby my overwhelming drive to NOT get pregnant must've gone down the drain with the rest of the bathwater. I had the devil's advocate on my shoulder saying 'how could you even consider another baby? Do you remember the last year? You bawled your eyes out for 3 months straight, and then you still weren't truly happy until month 7....' But now I have a baby-loving cherub on my other shoulder and the Jekyll-Hyde duo are duking.it.out.

I want another baby when the timing is right. So I'm praying. God knows my heart and where I am at. He knows what's good for me. I want to be content in all circumstances, like Paul in Philippians 4:11. '...for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have.' It's very possible that I have some weight to gain emotionally, so that in the future I can weigh in with the other heavy weights, physically. Like that metaphor? Yes, I do too.

Love, the featherweight mama

2.10.11

This is my little man the day after his first birthday party.

After a crazy night of partying he was ready for some hydration.

Gotta kick that hangover somehow.

Forcing some smiles with Great Grandma-D.

Then he shared his breakfast with Grandma. Gave the term 'finger food' a whole new meaning.

After some serious playtime, this happened shortly after.

It was a sweet morning, and a great way to start his first year.

Baby trashes bar in Las Palmas

Sometimes, you just gotta laugh.

found via Erin

One year & 9 days ago...

We had our first family photo shoot.

Our baby was freshly out of the oven and a tender 9 days old.

He had never left the house. {love homebirth!}

'Brink Party of 3'

xo,

Y

My Bestie's Etsy!

My beautiful best friend Kate has {finally!} opened her new Etsy shop, Modern Verite.

It is full of beautiful hand made necklaces. [I am ordering my favorite asap!]

Go buy something pretty!

xo,

Y

I knead a man

My fiesty 83 year old Bulgarian Grandma is an amazing cook. 83 years is a long time to perfect the skillz. She's the kind of cook who can take some beans, carrots, a few onions, garlic and with a swirl of her magic finger, the most humble ingredients turn into something that will melt your face off. I know from experience; I am still scraping my face off the dining room floor from last night's meal.

She was here this week for Rue's birthday and today she showed me how to make bread. She has shown me before but this time I was the one making; she was supervising and inserting her very poignant comments. Of course no one could do it perfectly [like her] but I kept making away regardless. She kept interrupting my knead to show me the 'Korekt' way of doing it. Try to imagine her strong accent. 'Lesss feeengers, moorrRe hend'

[which interprets: 'stop kneading like a fool woman-child! Must I do everything for you?]

Well G-ma, if you don't try, you can't learn. And learnt I did, and HOT DAYUM, the bread 'twas DIVINE. It rose like a champ and baked perfectly. My house smelled like an old world whole in the wall bakery. [ok, that's a bit over the top...but you can smell it can't you!?]

Would you like the recipe?

Goes a little something like this:

Yana: Gma, how much flour?

Gma: [shrugs shoulder and tosses hands in air flippantly] half bag.

Y: Half bag?? Okay.

G: Add the YEASTER with Varm vater, nacht too hot

Y: How much water?

Gma: ah leetle.

Gma: now add more vater.

Y: How much?

Gma: [same shrug, then grabs a tupperware container and fills it up half way with the perfect temperature water] Deese much Vater.

Y: HOW THE HECK CAN I MAKE THIS AGAIN? DON'T YOU KNOW I CAN'T SHARE QUANTITIES SUCH AS 'deese much vater' ON MY BLOG??

Gma: now you Meexe it. Slooowly, slooowly, Geeentle. Then you take-it out and Kneeeeed. One hundred times.

[as I mentioned before I didn't knead it right, she intervened, and then I got it. Or at least she pretended I did.

Gma: then, you let him rize.

Gma: then, you bacon him.

Gma: then, you let him rest.

Gma: then, you eeeat him!

Ladies and gentlemen, I let him rize, bacon, rest and then I ate him. The most beautiful bread-man I ever made. And most likely never to be repeated again.

1 year old!

You aren't just 12 months, you are ONE.WHOLE.YEAR.OLD!

It makes me smile...and apparently makes me cry too. As I was checking out at the grocery store I told the cashier 'I am buying all this food for my sons first birthday!' and then totally.started.bawling.

I know being your mother makes me partial to liking you, but I think you are pretty dang remarkable.

You wake up with craaay-craaay morning hair. You must take after your dad in that department because my hair looks perfect every morning [at least that's what your daddy tells me]

You can walk now...just this week! But it's not a normal front walk - it's sideways like a crab! 'Walk like an Egyptian' is your new theme song :)

You say 'mama' now...just this week too!

You share your food with me [which as times is really gross because you like to put things in your mouth then share with me]

I can see your little sponge brain soaking everything up.

You and I roll your favorite ball back and forth...it's a game. It's crazy to me that we can play games!

You absolutely LOVE peek-a-boo and when we play you belly laugh. It's my favorite.

You have totally rocked our world this year little man. Daddy and I are better humans, and a little more grown up too. Today we will give you lots of gifts, but you are our greatest gift -

The one and only Ruehl Grayson.

I love you.

xo, Mama!

ps...does this mean I have to say my baby is a 'toddler'?

remembering: Birth Photos

One year ago today I was swimming around in my birth pool, waiting for my little prince to arrive... Le birth pics

remembering: Labor Day

The first [lucid] thought I had this morning:

'oh my gosh, its my Labor Day anniversary!'

I remember it like it was yesterday. It was a normal monday and I was visiting my midwife for a checkup at 41 weeks and 2 days pregnant. I was certainly ready to get the party started and my [sweet amazing wonderful angel] midwife Sara agreed when she saw my blood pressure spike. With a little gentle encouragement, labor began at 5 pm and carried through the night until 3 pm the following day.

continue reading the store here...

Not all grey...

I don't know if it's teething, his new found mobility, or his growing independence, but suddenly my boy has no desire to sleep. His two naps are a measly 45 minutes, nighttime wake ups are happening again and my mommy love/patience/grace tank is getting low low low.

My fb status from this morning:

A morning with my girls and coffee saved Rue's cute lil' neck from strangulation. He knew it too, because just today he said 'mama'. Cheeky monkey already knows how to butter me up.

And I mean strangulation in the most humorous, sarcastic way possible. You gotta laugh right? I'm just being honest here friends...some mommy days you realize there must've been fine print that you didn't read when you signed up for this kid business.

There were some great moments today, so I must give credit where credit is due.

My day was not all grey! [see Chris, your girl can be an optimist!] The sun was shining and the sky was blue. I had coffee with mahh best girlfrenz at a kid friendly coffee shop. All the kiddos played like champs. Rue said 'mamamamamama'!! Which was heaven to my ears. And.......he took a LOT of steps! I think by his first birthday we will have a full blown walker.

Another day bites the dust. Thankfully, there is always tomorrow.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow.

xo.

party planning preparations

My son turns 1 in a week!

Party planning and preparations are in full swing.

The theme (why not have a theme?) is Robots and all space related manner.

So I've been cutting up cardboard boxes & painting up the wazoo.

Robots and spacecrafts and rockets oh my! So fun!

Here's a sneak peek at the props for the photo booth.

Rue had to get in on the action!

There definitely will be a reflective & sappy 'my-baby-turned-one!' post soon, but I can't stop this run-away train just yet! There are stars & galaxies to be cut, pom-poms to be made, menu's to be planned, and cakes to be bought. I think all of the 'stuff' I am doing is helping distract me from the bittersweetness of saying goodbye to the baby and hello to the toddler. Mama's just not ready yet. Maybe some libations will help. [I can serve Mojitos at a kid birthday, right?]

Not quite used to life flying by me like this.

xo.