Baby trashes bar in Las Palmas

Sometimes, you just gotta laugh.

found via Erin

I knead a man

My fiesty 83 year old Bulgarian Grandma is an amazing cook. 83 years is a long time to perfect the skillz. She's the kind of cook who can take some beans, carrots, a few onions, garlic and with a swirl of her magic finger, the most humble ingredients turn into something that will melt your face off. I know from experience; I am still scraping my face off the dining room floor from last night's meal.

She was here this week for Rue's birthday and today she showed me how to make bread. She has shown me before but this time I was the one making; she was supervising and inserting her very poignant comments. Of course no one could do it perfectly [like her] but I kept making away regardless. She kept interrupting my knead to show me the 'Korekt' way of doing it. Try to imagine her strong accent. 'Lesss feeengers, moorrRe hend'

[which interprets: 'stop kneading like a fool woman-child! Must I do everything for you?]

Well G-ma, if you don't try, you can't learn. And learnt I did, and HOT DAYUM, the bread 'twas DIVINE. It rose like a champ and baked perfectly. My house smelled like an old world whole in the wall bakery. [ok, that's a bit over the top...but you can smell it can't you!?]

Would you like the recipe?

Goes a little something like this:

Yana: Gma, how much flour?

Gma: [shrugs shoulder and tosses hands in air flippantly] half bag.

Y: Half bag?? Okay.

G: Add the YEASTER with Varm vater, nacht too hot

Y: How much water?

Gma: ah leetle.

Gma: now add more vater.

Y: How much?

Gma: [same shrug, then grabs a tupperware container and fills it up half way with the perfect temperature water] Deese much Vater.

Y: HOW THE HECK CAN I MAKE THIS AGAIN? DON'T YOU KNOW I CAN'T SHARE QUANTITIES SUCH AS 'deese much vater' ON MY BLOG??

Gma: now you Meexe it. Slooowly, slooowly, Geeentle. Then you take-it out and Kneeeeed. One hundred times.

[as I mentioned before I didn't knead it right, she intervened, and then I got it. Or at least she pretended I did.

Gma: then, you let him rize.

Gma: then, you bacon him.

Gma: then, you let him rest.

Gma: then, you eeeat him!

Ladies and gentlemen, I let him rize, bacon, rest and then I ate him. The most beautiful bread-man I ever made. And most likely never to be repeated again.

a talented pair

A story I forgot to share:

A while back I was changing Rue. Well, trying to. He's a moving target.

So he was squirming allll over the place. I nearly couldn't hold him down any longer.

In the blink of an eye he had flipped over, crouched onto his knees and then stood up and had reached into the baskets on the shelf next to the changing station. Then...it happened. His feet slipped from under him and fell feet first, into.......

The hamper.

The hamper full of cushioning dirty clothes. There aren't many moments that I am proud of neglecting full hampers...but that day, I WAS PROUD.

This is a mom fail moment that made me laugh instead of cry, and I especially want to remember laughing moments.

:)

video of the day

I wish everyone enjoyed their jobs like this guy...

hold me closer Tony Danza [or was it tiny dancer?]

My kid. Doing his thing. Walkin' his beat. Shakin' his groove.

NEVER STOPS MOVING. EVER.

Enjoy!

xoxo,

Y

Rue 'flash dance' Brink from Yana Banova-Brink on Vimeo.

Have kid, will travel

Ruehl's first road trip [sans Dad] was last week. We drove 4.5 hours to Ohio.

Pre-formula, a road trip would've been a NIGHTMARE. As my friend Lydia said 'that sounds like a REALLY bad idea Yana.' I agreed.

Post-formula, it was fantastic. He slept great in the car seat and loved being passed around from friend to friend. That made me a happy mama. So much so, that I didn't even mind the 3 projectile events that happened on our short 3 days away from home.

We fed him a bottle in the car. He was happy as a little clam. When we got to the hotel, my mom checked in and I was holding Rue in the lobby. Suddenly, I hear him burp the loudest burp ever, followed by his entire meal projectile spewing onto me and the lobby floor, followed by another burp. It was e.p.i.c. -Exorcist style. His little scared face with wet eyes said it all, poor kid. It was so embarrassing that I just laughed. My mom and I got into the elevator and almost peed on ourselves from laughter. Projectile #1.

Later that night his nose was stuffed up, so I used the saline spray to unclog him. I sprayed, he did a little freak out dance, cry and then......like a volcano erupting his nose cleared out all over me. Projectile #2.

The final 'event' was a dirty diaper morning blowout, that had squished out of the diaper and around his legs, filling his sleeper. And, of course, like good stories go, when I popped the buttons open the poop FLEW at me, with impressive force. It stuck to my arm, my shirt and leg, also landing on the floor and bed. Projectile #3.

[welcome to motherhood]

This weekend we are flying to Maine to visit the Grandparents. Hopefully, Rue's first flight is a success and if there is anymore 'projectile' involved that Chris can be lucky enough to get in on the action.

What's your funniest projectile story??

birds and bees aint buzzin

With a newborn running the show, there seems to be no time for mom/dad playtime.

When there is, I'm MUCH too exhausted. Has any one else had this problem??

Last week Rue surprised us and took a nap.

Chris said, 'get upstairs'

We jumped on the bed and started kissing.

Chris took my glasses off and put them on the floor.

He said 'why don't you light a candle?'

I got up, lit the wick, and took a step.

Crunch.

It was my glasses.

Then we heard him, 'waaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!"

Crap.

Extinguish candle.

Exhale frustration.

Hah, maybe next time....

(apparently when Rue grows up, his dad is going to ground him for every time he kept him from 'getting some')

"Cry Me a River' ... of embarrasment?

Two days ago, I was in the grocery store, doing my housewifely thang.
When in the meat department, my heart lept - - -

Justin Timberlake's [insert girlish sigh here] 'Cry Me A River' began playing on the store's loud speaker.

Then ---

I scored an amazing 2 for 1 special on Pot Roast!

At this point in the story, my heart was so full with joy, that I couldn't help but begin to shake it!
Oh.my. There's nothing better [in my wifely book] than hearing mah Boi, WHILE scoring cheap meat.

I was flat out doing the happy dance.

At this point in the story is when I notice a man staring at me, smiling, and chuckling.
[I'm sure my pregnant dancing self was a hilarious sight]

I burst into nervous laughter...spun my cart around with impressive force, and ran to the dairy aisle as fast as my legs could carry me....except to pause for a moment at the end of the meat aisle to find my favorite peppery bacon, which was another amazing 2 for 1 deal. And at seeing that, I threw my arms in the air, exclaiming "YESSS!!!" [what can I say, I love myself some cheap meat.] I'm sure he saw me.

le.sigh.

[if you share my love for this boy, then cry me a river]