Heart Go Boom-Boom 'a happy woman's attempt to tell the world what makes her heart tick'
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Rue's Epic Birthday
Monday February 8th: I was 41 weeks and 2 days post due. I was certainly ready to not be pregnant any longer. I was aching to hold my babe! At my check up that afternoon with my midwife I asked what natural remedies we could use to ‘get this show on the road!’ Sarah, my amazing midwife, was not as eager to get things going as I was and figured he needed ‘more baking.’ She said ‘we can pull out the ‘big guns’ [ie, castor oil, sweeping your membranes] on Friday if you haven’t gone into labor yet’. But she changed her tune after taking my blood pressure. It had suddenly spiked and she was concerned about preeclampsia [of course, it could’ve been due to all the crap food I ate at the Superbowl party the night before, but there was no way to tell] An exam revealed that my cervix was thin and soft, and 2 cm dilated. She suggested sweeping my membranes to get things going. She wanted him to be born ASAP! I was thinking Hallelujah!
On my 30 min drive home I began having contractions about 6 minutes apart. It was extremely difficult to drive as all I wanted to do was close my eyes and relax. Not a good idea with tractor trailers all around. I called my husband, but he wasn’t answering. Thanks babe, great time to not answer! I arrived safely home, and a few minutes later Chris arrived. “Good news, we’re in early labor!”
My parents had invited us to join them and a few mutual friends for a dinner party. Chris and I knew that we had a long night ahead of us, so we figured eating some food and seeing a few friends would be good for both of us. My parents live right around the corner so we enjoyed walking over to their house. When we arrived everyone was anxious to hear about the checkup. They beamed when we told them that labor was beginning. We celebrated our coming baby with a ‘pre-birthday’ party.
After an hour, we said goodbye and walked home. Eager to stay preoccupied during the early labor stage we played Wii bowling for about 2 hours. I was bouncing on my yoga ball and between contractions was getting strikes left and right. Around 9 pm Chris called our midwife Sarah to let her know that we were in early labor and would call again when we needed her. By 11 Chris was tried and fell asleep. I tried to sleep sitting up in bed, because when I laid down my back and hips hurt tremendously. So I didn’t have any luck sleeping. I was walking, pelvic rocking and swaying, but when a contraction came on it felt like my hips and thighs were being torn to shreds with a lawn mower. I was not expecting the pain to be so epic. The thing that helped the most was bearing down and squatting. I would hold onto the bathroom sink, the tub, the couch or the counter top. I was starting to cry and panic a little bit…I thought if this pain got worse I might not be able to handle it. At 1 am I woke up Chris and suggested he call Sarah. Right after that I got so nauseous I vomited everything till I dry heaved. I heard that was normal so I didn’t freak out. Contractions were coming about every 5 minutes at this point. I was so happy to see Sarah’s face, and a quick checked revealed I was 4 cm. Not huge progress, but progress none the less. My mom arrived at 6 am, looking fresh and glamorous and was bubbling “Hello! We’re gonna have a baby today” And I was moaning like a cow. She quickly got the picture that this was pretty serious business.
8 am I get in the birthing pool. I labored there for 6 hours. According to my husband (I had lost all sense of time) I progressed about 1 cm every two hours. Moaning, grunting, changing positions was how I got through the hours. I needed constant counter pressure on my back and my hips. My husband was an angel. He worked really hard to help keep me comfortable. If he was gone during a contraction I had to tell myself ‘You can do this alone. You CAN.’ There was one point that I said, ‘OK, I need this to be done soon. I need to be able to push.’
By 2 pm I had dilated to 9 cm, but there was a persistent interior cervical lip that would not move past his head. Sarah tried to push it out of the way during a few contractions. Having someone’s hand up in your vagina during a contraction hurts like hell. She suggested I tried to bear down a little and push to see if that would move it out of the way, which didn’t work and didn’t feel good. I wasn’t ready yet. Then came transition. I whimpered ‘Ok. I’m done. I want to run away. I want to go to Paris with my mom. I want to go shopping, and drink wine and eat cheese, and sip coffee and eat a croissant. I’m done.’ Sarah replied, ‘awww, you want a vacation with Chris?’ And I said ‘Nooo. I didn’t say THAT. I want to go with my MOM.’ My mom said, ‘If she goes to Paris with Chris THIS {baby} will happen again!’ We all laughed. It was perfect comic relief.
After 45 minutes of no luck with the cervical lip, Sarah suggested getting out of the water and pushing on the birth stool. I was 9.5 cm. With a few pushes, I was fully dilated.
Sarah and her assistant Angela pushed in my perineum with warm rags and told me to push with everything I had. So I did. And I roared. And Grunted. And made extremely sexual noises. And screamed. And then between contractions I feel asleep, hardcore, for like 2 mins. Then I threw up some more. I felt like a lion when pushing, and a lamb when it was over. I was weak and exhausted, and yet had so much adrenaline when pushing. Sarah showed me his head in the mirror, we could only see a little bit. More pushing. It felt like I was being ripped in two. There’s now other way to describe it. Finally the crown of his head was about half way out. When she showed me with a mirror again, this time my body took over with out my brain being involved, and I began shaking and groaning. It was so guttural, instinctual and powerful it was frightening. I could feel myself tearing. Sarah told me to back off and to stop pushing. ‘Stop pushing?!’ After pushing with everything inside of, NOT PUSHING was the HARDEST thing I’ve ever done in my life. I told her I was trying to stop but I couldn’t. She told me to breath hard in her face. While I did that I was thinking ‘OMG, my throw up breath must be soooooo awful. I’m sorry sarah!!’ She told me just ‘let the pressure be there, and just let his head hang there. Just let him slide out. Holy crap…………It was music to my ears when she said, ‘his eyes are out. His hose is out…..his cheeks are out… his lips are out! His head is out!’ The next thing I knew he had slid completely out and they placed him on my chest. Chris and I began balling as I held our son. I kissed his bloody head. I welcomed him to his house, told him I was his mama. So much love welled up inside of me. I was laughing. Shocked. In awe. Amazed. Relieved. Blissed out. It was incredible. 24 hours total, 16 hours of hard labor. One hour and 15 minutes of pushing. My little Ruehl Grayson arrived 7 lbs, 8 oz. 21.5 inches long.
In a nutshell, it was the most thrilling, beautiful and intense moment of my life. 2 weeks later and I’ve already forgotten the intensity of the pain. I think it is woman’s fatal flaw to forget the pain. It wasn’t quick, and wasn’t easy, but it was rewarding! Someone asked me ‘so now that you’ve done it naturally, next time are you going to get the epidural??’ I laughed. ‘No way. Never. I’m a home birthing mama and love it that way.’
The end… [and just the beginning]
On my 30 min drive home I began having contractions about 6 minutes apart. It was extremely difficult to drive as all I wanted to do was close my eyes and relax. Not a good idea with tractor trailers all around. I called my husband, but he wasn’t answering. Thanks babe, great time to not answer! I arrived safely home, and a few minutes later Chris arrived. “Good news, we’re in early labor!”
My parents had invited us to join them and a few mutual friends for a dinner party. Chris and I knew that we had a long night ahead of us, so we figured eating some food and seeing a few friends would be good for both of us. My parents live right around the corner so we enjoyed walking over to their house. When we arrived everyone was anxious to hear about the checkup. They beamed when we told them that labor was beginning. We celebrated our coming baby with a ‘pre-birthday’ party.
After an hour, we said goodbye and walked home. Eager to stay preoccupied during the early labor stage we played Wii bowling for about 2 hours. I was bouncing on my yoga ball and between contractions was getting strikes left and right. Around 9 pm Chris called our midwife Sarah to let her know that we were in early labor and would call again when we needed her. By 11 Chris was tried and fell asleep. I tried to sleep sitting up in bed, because when I laid down my back and hips hurt tremendously. So I didn’t have any luck sleeping. I was walking, pelvic rocking and swaying, but when a contraction came on it felt like my hips and thighs were being torn to shreds with a lawn mower. I was not expecting the pain to be so epic. The thing that helped the most was bearing down and squatting. I would hold onto the bathroom sink, the tub, the couch or the counter top. I was starting to cry and panic a little bit…I thought if this pain got worse I might not be able to handle it. At 1 am I woke up Chris and suggested he call Sarah. Right after that I got so nauseous I vomited everything till I dry heaved. I heard that was normal so I didn’t freak out. Contractions were coming about every 5 minutes at this point. I was so happy to see Sarah’s face, and a quick checked revealed I was 4 cm. Not huge progress, but progress none the less. My mom arrived at 6 am, looking fresh and glamorous and was bubbling “Hello! We’re gonna have a baby today” And I was moaning like a cow. She quickly got the picture that this was pretty serious business.
8 am I get in the birthing pool. I labored there for 6 hours. According to my husband (I had lost all sense of time) I progressed about 1 cm every two hours. Moaning, grunting, changing positions was how I got through the hours. I needed constant counter pressure on my back and my hips. My husband was an angel. He worked really hard to help keep me comfortable. If he was gone during a contraction I had to tell myself ‘You can do this alone. You CAN.’ There was one point that I said, ‘OK, I need this to be done soon. I need to be able to push.’
By 2 pm I had dilated to 9 cm, but there was a persistent interior cervical lip that would not move past his head. Sarah tried to push it out of the way during a few contractions. Having someone’s hand up in your vagina during a contraction hurts like hell. She suggested I tried to bear down a little and push to see if that would move it out of the way, which didn’t work and didn’t feel good. I wasn’t ready yet. Then came transition. I whimpered ‘Ok. I’m done. I want to run away. I want to go to Paris with my mom. I want to go shopping, and drink wine and eat cheese, and sip coffee and eat a croissant. I’m done.’ Sarah replied, ‘awww, you want a vacation with Chris?’ And I said ‘Nooo. I didn’t say THAT. I want to go with my MOM.’ My mom said, ‘If she goes to Paris with Chris THIS {baby} will happen again!’ We all laughed. It was perfect comic relief.
After 45 minutes of no luck with the cervical lip, Sarah suggested getting out of the water and pushing on the birth stool. I was 9.5 cm. With a few pushes, I was fully dilated.
Sarah and her assistant Angela pushed in my perineum with warm rags and told me to push with everything I had. So I did. And I roared. And Grunted. And made extremely sexual noises. And screamed. And then between contractions I feel asleep, hardcore, for like 2 mins. Then I threw up some more. I felt like a lion when pushing, and a lamb when it was over. I was weak and exhausted, and yet had so much adrenaline when pushing. Sarah showed me his head in the mirror, we could only see a little bit. More pushing. It felt like I was being ripped in two. There’s now other way to describe it. Finally the crown of his head was about half way out. When she showed me with a mirror again, this time my body took over with out my brain being involved, and I began shaking and groaning. It was so guttural, instinctual and powerful it was frightening. I could feel myself tearing. Sarah told me to back off and to stop pushing. ‘Stop pushing?!’ After pushing with everything inside of, NOT PUSHING was the HARDEST thing I’ve ever done in my life. I told her I was trying to stop but I couldn’t. She told me to breath hard in her face. While I did that I was thinking ‘OMG, my throw up breath must be soooooo awful. I’m sorry sarah!!’ She told me just ‘let the pressure be there, and just let his head hang there. Just let him slide out. Holy crap…………It was music to my ears when she said, ‘his eyes are out. His hose is out…..his cheeks are out… his lips are out! His head is out!’ The next thing I knew he had slid completely out and they placed him on my chest. Chris and I began balling as I held our son. I kissed his bloody head. I welcomed him to his house, told him I was his mama. So much love welled up inside of me. I was laughing. Shocked. In awe. Amazed. Relieved. Blissed out. It was incredible. 24 hours total, 16 hours of hard labor. One hour and 15 minutes of pushing. My little Ruehl Grayson arrived 7 lbs, 8 oz. 21.5 inches long.
In a nutshell, it was the most thrilling, beautiful and intense moment of my life. 2 weeks later and I’ve already forgotten the intensity of the pain. I think it is woman’s fatal flaw to forget the pain. It wasn’t quick, and wasn’t easy, but it was rewarding! Someone asked me ‘so now that you’ve done it naturally, next time are you going to get the epidural??’ I laughed. ‘No way. Never. I’m a home birthing mama and love it that way.’
The end… [and just the beginning]
Friday, February 19, 2010
"Brink Party of 3..."
This is our precious Ruehl at 9 days old. I never want to forget how tiny, sweet and innocent he is. Le sigh...
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Baby Boy is Here!
He's here. He's perfect.
7 pounds, 8 ounces, 20.5 inches long.
Our little prince Ruehl Grayson Brink arrived February 9th at 4:28 pm.
It was the most amazing, shocking, & thrilling moment of my life. The labor was long and intense, but produced the most magnificent little creature I've ever seen!
Welcome to the world my little bean! I'm so in love.
[birth story and more photos to come...I have to go nuzzle for a little while]
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
the cliff
40 weeks, 3 days. Still pregnant.
Not much of a surprise there, for a first time mom to go over due.
But so many emotions to sort and process. I didn't know exactly what I was feeling till I sent my husband a text that turned into a mini novel:
'This waiting is starting to mess with my head, particularly pertaining to my courage and gumption. Can I really do this? What I mean is, you know...like...standing at the edge of a cliff. The longer you stand and wait...and don't jump, the easier it is to believe you can't jump, won't jump, OR will die if you actually do. If you would've just run up to the edge without looking and jumped, there's only room for falling, not for doubting. I feel like I've been sitting on the lefge, dangling my feet. Twidling my thumbs. Whistling. Guessing how many feet till the waters surface and how cold the water will be.'
I shared that because...honsetly... I'm a little scared. Just a little afraid of this jump into the unknown. Of course I can do it, will do, and won't die. When push comes to shove, I will enjoy the jump, the fall and the plunge. I will swim in new waters and take it all in. I just hope my little boy is ready soon because this mama is ready to take the plunge.
Monday, February 1, 2010
O.N.L.S.
As the 'end' of the pregnancy is near, I've had many people offering their words of advice and comfort. Everyone seems to have their 'thing' that starts labor: Spicy food. Spicy Bedroom Playtime. Pedicures.
In my previous post I wrote about having lots of contractions. We were excited! To see if it was real labor, we burned a path around the kitchen table. We paraded up and down the stairs, marching band style, singing and playing air trumpet. I ate lots of food. I showered. I bounced on my yoga ball. We cleaned the kitchen and living. We watched the Grammys [what a snoozefest, right?] And the contractions seemed to be progressing! At midnight, we decided to go to bed, and figured that if it was real labor they would continue. At 3:30 I woke up from a comma. No more contractions. So frustrating.
SO! I was thinking today that since he is 40 weeks and 1 day, it is time to initiate
'Operation Natural Labor Stimulation'. [Tubing...skydiving...trampoline...] ;)
Got any ideas for me?
In my previous post I wrote about having lots of contractions. We were excited! To see if it was real labor, we burned a path around the kitchen table. We paraded up and down the stairs, marching band style, singing and playing air trumpet. I ate lots of food. I showered. I bounced on my yoga ball. We cleaned the kitchen and living. We watched the Grammys [what a snoozefest, right?] And the contractions seemed to be progressing! At midnight, we decided to go to bed, and figured that if it was real labor they would continue. At 3:30 I woke up from a comma. No more contractions. So frustrating.
SO! I was thinking today that since he is 40 weeks and 1 day, it is time to initiate
'Operation Natural Labor Stimulation'. [Tubing...skydiving...trampoline...] ;)
Got any ideas for me?
it's my blog and I'll cry if I want to...
Hey doves,
Last night was a full moon and our boy's 'Due Date'. We were all hoping for baby to emerge.
And with timing 3 hours of contractions varying in intensity & frequency [just a few minutes apart], I thought I would be last night for sure!
Ok. So. No baby. [I am currently taking applications for my 'Woman's Intuition' because I fired mine.] I am TRYING to stay busy, and positive, and hopeful, but seriously...I'm so frustrated. And Bored. To tears. I feel like I can say that because....well this is my blog, and you are my friends. And you wont judge me, right? Just encourage me.
I KNOW he is going to be here soon....but I am beginning to grow so frustrated with 'false alarms'. Next time I have regular contractions I am going to ignore them until I can't walk or talk until they are over. Then that way I will know he's coming for sure. At that point I hope there will still be time for the midwife to arrive!? :)
Keep me in your hearts and prayers please!
xox, Y
Last night was a full moon and our boy's 'Due Date'. We were all hoping for baby to emerge.
And with timing 3 hours of contractions varying in intensity & frequency [just a few minutes apart], I thought I would be last night for sure!
Ok. So. No baby. [I am currently taking applications for my 'Woman's Intuition' because I fired mine.] I am TRYING to stay busy, and positive, and hopeful, but seriously...I'm so frustrated. And Bored. To tears. I feel like I can say that because....well this is my blog, and you are my friends. And you wont judge me, right? Just encourage me.
I KNOW he is going to be here soon....but I am beginning to grow so frustrated with 'false alarms'. Next time I have regular contractions I am going to ignore them until I can't walk or talk until they are over. Then that way I will know he's coming for sure. At that point I hope there will still be time for the midwife to arrive!? :)
Keep me in your hearts and prayers please!
xox, Y
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