Valentines Day - Pre & Post Kidletts

A Pre-Kidletts Valentines Day Story:

Husband wakes up wife with kisses and a morning romp.
Whispers and promises of more fun to come later.
A sweet ado, and off to work he goes.
Wife spends the afternoon doing whatever the heck she wants and, most importantly, getting ready.
And when pre-kidlett Wife gets ready, she does it right.
Long hot shower, carefully shaved legs, lotion and perfume, curling the hair, curling the eyelashes, make up; the works. And of course, picking out that hot little number, most likely black. Black is slimming.

Husband arrives home from work with a bouquet of favorite flowers adorning his arm.
Husband is super pleased with the hotness of wife. Wife is pleased husband is pleased.
Some flirting, some kissing, and they leave on-time for their romantic dinner.
They drink wine and take long, slow bites, fully enjoying every piece of food that touches their lips.
They look lovingly and longingly into each others eyes. They whisper some more.
They return home, Husband carries Wife over the threshold, and...if you have any imagination at all, you know what comes next.

All in all, a perfect romantic evening.


Post-Kidletts Valentines Day Story:

Wake up bleary eyed from a long night with a newborn.
Husband says, 'I love you'. Bleary eyed Wife says 'Happy Valentines Day babe' and sticks a boob in the baby's mouth and falls back asleep.
Instead of a whisper waking her up she hears ' Mom!! MOM!!! MOOOOOOOOOOM!' thundering from her toddlers room.
She stumbles down the hallway, changes a massive poop diaper and totes toddler downstairs to watch Sesame Street. With both kids spoken for, she bolts into the shower.
Showered, dressed, make up & hair thrown back into a messy chignon in under 4 1/2 minutes.
Wife spends the afternoon changing diapers, nursing, and building skyscrapers with toddler and his blocks.
Husband texts Wife on the way home from the grocery store 'Got into an accident. That was fun.'
A few moments later Wife learns it was minor, Husband is fine and it wasn't his fault.
Wife breathes sigh of relief, then feeds toddler, toddler gets oatmeal everywhere, Wife bathes toddler. [What do you call a woman who bathes a kid and nurses at the same time? SuperWoman.]
Bleary eye and tired Husband arrives home mildly annoyed from the accident, with a slightly crushed single rose adorning his arm. Husband kisses wife, puts away groceries, opens a beer, takes baby from Wife's arms and sits on the couch.
After putting toddler to bed, Husband and Wife start cooking. It's 8 pm. Baby wakes up crying, Wife straps baby in the Moby. With baby finally asleep they finish cooking and sit down around 9 pm to a tasty and hot meal of filet mignon, risotto, and mozzarella caprese. Baby wakes up, of course, so Husband eats meal one handed while holding baby. Toddler rouses, and which parent went to soothe him; this story teller doesn't remember. Wife drinks wine too quickly.
Husband starts to say something romantic, when he is cut off by Wife. Not by her lips, or saying something romantic in return, but rather a fart. Wife had a baby 3 weeks prior and she doesn't have full control of her sphincter muscles yet.
Husband and Wife break into laughter. 'Were you going to say something romantic...and then...I farted???' she sputters in between laughs.
'Yes.'
'Well....let me finish your thought. All.....things.....considered........I  love....you.....aaaaand....?
'...this was a really nice evening.'
'I love you too. Welcome to life with children. Happy Valentines Day babe.
'Happy Valentines day love.'

Husband and wife crawl into bed, with baby, and with a quick kiss, they crash.
No romping for this tired, kidlett-clad couple. There's always next year.