Last night I woke up at 2:30 thinking of baby names. (subconcious musings?) I laid in bed till 4:30 and couldn't stand to be hungry any longer (hungry all the time!) So I ventured down into the kitchen and made some toast. Then I drank a small cup of OJ (apparantly I have the smallest kidney in the universe now) and ate some berries. As I dined on my 4 am snack, I thought, and thought. and thought. I thought of this little lima bean sized life growing in me. I thought about time. And how it moves forward in nearly violent force.
"I've already been married a year and a month! I'm turning 25!? And my babe will be here, in my arms, in 7 months. That's nearly half a year!! Before I know it, the babe will be 6 months old. Then they will be walking! Then...graduating from middle school. Then College!!! Then they will come home with their love and tell me they are getting married.........."
OMG. Please someone, tell me to slow down! I know my brain moves in recdiculous ways, but I'm just going to freak myself right out if I keep thinking like this.
That was how I went to bed last night. This morning I purposed to just.....enjoy today. And not to be so anxious, just excited. Maybe I'm not ready to see my 'heart running around on the outside of my body' is how my friend Katie explains her love for her children. It must be the most incredible thing to watch a child grow, mingled with a twinge of sadness. Oy. These emotions!
Hopefully you will all stay with me as I ride this rollercoaster...I have a feeling there will be many more blogs like this.
Love, Y
Heart Go Boom-Boom 'a happy woman's attempt to tell the world what makes her heart tick'
2 comments:
i still feel like this, and my children are 5 (almost 6) and 3. i think it's normal and beautiful to hurl yourself into the next decade (at times) but then remind yourself to live and enjoy today. they always say this, but it really does go too fast. all of it. anyway, looking forward to reading more about your wonderful journey!
That cliche about life flying by...no truer words were ever spoken. Oh, my. But at the same time, the realization of that forces you to embrace each and every millisecond, to hold on to all of it, and to love each moment more fiercely than the previous one. This life is precious and amazing. Carrying a life and watching it grow makes that so much more real. I jump forward about a hundred times a day, but each jump forward makes me realize how precious right now is. Soak it all up...every last second.
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