One year & 9 days ago...

We had our first family photo shoot.

Our baby was freshly out of the oven and a tender 9 days old.

He had never left the house. {love homebirth!}

'Brink Party of 3'

xo,

Y

My Bestie's Etsy!

My beautiful best friend Kate has {finally!} opened her new Etsy shop, Modern Verite.

It is full of beautiful hand made necklaces. [I am ordering my favorite asap!]

Go buy something pretty!

xo,

Y

I knead a man

My fiesty 83 year old Bulgarian Grandma is an amazing cook. 83 years is a long time to perfect the skillz. She's the kind of cook who can take some beans, carrots, a few onions, garlic and with a swirl of her magic finger, the most humble ingredients turn into something that will melt your face off. I know from experience; I am still scraping my face off the dining room floor from last night's meal.

She was here this week for Rue's birthday and today she showed me how to make bread. She has shown me before but this time I was the one making; she was supervising and inserting her very poignant comments. Of course no one could do it perfectly [like her] but I kept making away regardless. She kept interrupting my knead to show me the 'Korekt' way of doing it. Try to imagine her strong accent. 'Lesss feeengers, moorrRe hend'

[which interprets: 'stop kneading like a fool woman-child! Must I do everything for you?]

Well G-ma, if you don't try, you can't learn. And learnt I did, and HOT DAYUM, the bread 'twas DIVINE. It rose like a champ and baked perfectly. My house smelled like an old world whole in the wall bakery. [ok, that's a bit over the top...but you can smell it can't you!?]

Would you like the recipe?

Goes a little something like this:

Yana: Gma, how much flour?

Gma: [shrugs shoulder and tosses hands in air flippantly] half bag.

Y: Half bag?? Okay.

G: Add the YEASTER with Varm vater, nacht too hot

Y: How much water?

Gma: ah leetle.

Gma: now add more vater.

Y: How much?

Gma: [same shrug, then grabs a tupperware container and fills it up half way with the perfect temperature water] Deese much Vater.

Y: HOW THE HECK CAN I MAKE THIS AGAIN? DON'T YOU KNOW I CAN'T SHARE QUANTITIES SUCH AS 'deese much vater' ON MY BLOG??

Gma: now you Meexe it. Slooowly, slooowly, Geeentle. Then you take-it out and Kneeeeed. One hundred times.

[as I mentioned before I didn't knead it right, she intervened, and then I got it. Or at least she pretended I did.

Gma: then, you let him rize.

Gma: then, you bacon him.

Gma: then, you let him rest.

Gma: then, you eeeat him!

Ladies and gentlemen, I let him rize, bacon, rest and then I ate him. The most beautiful bread-man I ever made. And most likely never to be repeated again.

1 year old!

You aren't just 12 months, you are ONE.WHOLE.YEAR.OLD!

It makes me smile...and apparently makes me cry too. As I was checking out at the grocery store I told the cashier 'I am buying all this food for my sons first birthday!' and then totally.started.bawling.

I know being your mother makes me partial to liking you, but I think you are pretty dang remarkable.

You wake up with craaay-craaay morning hair. You must take after your dad in that department because my hair looks perfect every morning [at least that's what your daddy tells me]

You can walk now...just this week! But it's not a normal front walk - it's sideways like a crab! 'Walk like an Egyptian' is your new theme song :)

You say 'mama' now...just this week too!

You share your food with me [which as times is really gross because you like to put things in your mouth then share with me]

I can see your little sponge brain soaking everything up.

You and I roll your favorite ball back and forth...it's a game. It's crazy to me that we can play games!

You absolutely LOVE peek-a-boo and when we play you belly laugh. It's my favorite.

You have totally rocked our world this year little man. Daddy and I are better humans, and a little more grown up too. Today we will give you lots of gifts, but you are our greatest gift -

The one and only Ruehl Grayson.

I love you.

xo, Mama!

ps...does this mean I have to say my baby is a 'toddler'?

remembering: Birth Photos

One year ago today I was swimming around in my birth pool, waiting for my little prince to arrive... Le birth pics

remembering: Labor Day

The first [lucid] thought I had this morning:

'oh my gosh, its my Labor Day anniversary!'

I remember it like it was yesterday. It was a normal monday and I was visiting my midwife for a checkup at 41 weeks and 2 days pregnant. I was certainly ready to get the party started and my [sweet amazing wonderful angel] midwife Sara agreed when she saw my blood pressure spike. With a little gentle encouragement, labor began at 5 pm and carried through the night until 3 pm the following day.

continue reading the store here...

Not all grey...

I don't know if it's teething, his new found mobility, or his growing independence, but suddenly my boy has no desire to sleep. His two naps are a measly 45 minutes, nighttime wake ups are happening again and my mommy love/patience/grace tank is getting low low low.

My fb status from this morning:

A morning with my girls and coffee saved Rue's cute lil' neck from strangulation. He knew it too, because just today he said 'mama'. Cheeky monkey already knows how to butter me up.

And I mean strangulation in the most humorous, sarcastic way possible. You gotta laugh right? I'm just being honest here friends...some mommy days you realize there must've been fine print that you didn't read when you signed up for this kid business.

There were some great moments today, so I must give credit where credit is due.

My day was not all grey! [see Chris, your girl can be an optimist!] The sun was shining and the sky was blue. I had coffee with mahh best girlfrenz at a kid friendly coffee shop. All the kiddos played like champs. Rue said 'mamamamamama'!! Which was heaven to my ears. And.......he took a LOT of steps! I think by his first birthday we will have a full blown walker.

Another day bites the dust. Thankfully, there is always tomorrow.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow.

xo.

party planning preparations

My son turns 1 in a week!

Party planning and preparations are in full swing.

The theme (why not have a theme?) is Robots and all space related manner.

So I've been cutting up cardboard boxes & painting up the wazoo.

Robots and spacecrafts and rockets oh my! So fun!

Here's a sneak peek at the props for the photo booth.

Rue had to get in on the action!

There definitely will be a reflective & sappy 'my-baby-turned-one!' post soon, but I can't stop this run-away train just yet! There are stars & galaxies to be cut, pom-poms to be made, menu's to be planned, and cakes to be bought. I think all of the 'stuff' I am doing is helping distract me from the bittersweetness of saying goodbye to the baby and hello to the toddler. Mama's just not ready yet. Maybe some libations will help. [I can serve Mojitos at a kid birthday, right?]

Not quite used to life flying by me like this.

xo.

new baby [in the oven]

No no, I haven't gotten to my #5 resolution yet, but I do have a new baby in the kitchen.

Kitchen gadgets [especially pretty ones that I've been drooling over for ages] totally get me all geeky an' stuff.

I'm swelling with pride:

She is currently simmering a chicken dish that I made up. If it tastes as divine as it smells I will share the recipe. Yum!!

Circus of Love

My super talented friend/brother-from-another-mother Benjamin Dunn is an amazing musician and he recently released his latest album. Along with my husband our closest friends, I had the privilege to participate in his first official music video. It was so fun! You can see me standing behind the drummer. Chris described me as 'as the girl doing high-claps'.

Also, his website and his album is available for sale on iTunes.

cheers!

Y.

11 months (10 days late)

11 months?

how did that happen??

well my little man all I have to say is: leaps and bounds.

you're growing up in leaps and bounds.

you and I have conversations now.

I ask you 'how did you sleep baby' and you reply 'addsubbbs bueejah mmrrm leedibuh rroooo rrooo.'

which I interpret 'I slept beautifully mama love rue rue'

we have conversations like that all the time, and I look forward to the day that I can actually understand you.

on your 11th monthiversay you were very sick and threw up on me and then you made it all better by taking your first three steps. It was miraculously fun to watch. You haven't tried it again though, so I am enjoying the last few weeks of you crawling, ever.

just this weekend you became a sweet little snuggle bug. I will rephrase and say you've always been sweet, but you have never been a snuggle bug. Out of the blue you crawled up to me and nuzzled your head in my neck. And then later that day you crawled up to me and put your head on my knees. And you haven't stopped the spontaneous snuggling & nuzzling. I am SO happy about it too. Another new development is whenever you see a blanket you will dive headfirst onto it, lay flat and wiggle around like a fish, all while smiling and giggling/squealing/shrieking with delight. So I purposely leave your soft blankets around the house, cause it's just so.darn.cute.

you make me very proud. I love getting to know the little amazing person that you are.

happy 11 months of life!

xo, Mama

red peckers & roller coasters

{tired arms from waving a white flag}

The Brink Haus has seen some high high's and some looow lowwwww's today.

It all started with a frantic cry from his room at 12:30 last night.

As usual I reached into the crib to find his pacifier and re-plug, but what I found instead was a warm puddle of vomit. I turn on the light and see Rue crying and rubbing his eyes/heads/face with little vomit hands. 'Chris [I know you have to get up at 6 to shovel your car and give a presentation to the owner of your company on your new design and you need your brain working tomorrow, but I need you to come here and] help!'

So we get him cleaned up, new bedding, and he's sleeping again within minutes. I figure [hope really] that his tummy must've been upset and it's nothing to worry about. I doze off to sleep.

Around 1:30 I hear him cry again. More vomit. At that point I realized it is something more serious and probably is that strange vomit/viral bug that has been traveling around all the church kids. [MOMS OUT THERE- If your kid is sick puhlease, DON'T bring them to play-dates!] I laid awake for another hour or two racked with anxiety. Of course there was nothing more that I could do at that point, but I'm his mother....it's my job to worry.

This morning he woke up an hour later than usual, we snuggled in bed and everything seemed hunky dory. Until, you guessed it, more vomit. I called our pediatrician and he confirmed based on symptoms that it is a viral 24-48 bug going around. With some extra TLC the afternoon seemed to have finally turned around. He was happy and eating and talking away. Then out of the blue came the screaming. The frantic screaming. The being cut with ten thousand little daggers screaming. I couldn't figure it out! I took him upstairs to change his diaper and what do I find? A huge crap and terrible diaper rash, with the worst of it on le Pecker. Thanks to my 3-day long STUPID HEAD COLD, I couldn't smell his overly full diaper! mom fail.

Uggghhhhhhhhhhhh. Rue, if you read this someday, I am SO SORRY. [I only have the best intentions when it comes to your pecker. And I don't mean that in an awkward way. I'm gonna stop typing my thoughts now.] So, I'm feeling like I earned a crappy mom award.

I can't breathe, my kid has a red pecker, and it's only wednesday.

Mr. Moo-moo & the sled brigade

We [finally!] had our first snow day of the year!

A little powder, a new fuzzy hat and a brand new sled from the G-P's made this fun afternoon possible.

Mr. Moo-moo L-O-V-E-D his first sledding experience and we loved being the reindeer that pulled him around. Isn't that a funny thing about being a parent? You actually don't need to have fun yourself, but when your kid has fun, you do too!?

Donned in a super dense 3-6 month bear cub sleeper [you think I should update my kids' winter wardrobe?] little man could hardly move but that did not keep him from having a blast! Kicking his feet, giggling, and flashing us his 2 pearly whites. Oh, be still my heart!

a talented pair

A story I forgot to share:

A while back I was changing Rue. Well, trying to. He's a moving target.

So he was squirming allll over the place. I nearly couldn't hold him down any longer.

In the blink of an eye he had flipped over, crouched onto his knees and then stood up and had reached into the baskets on the shelf next to the changing station. Then...it happened. His feet slipped from under him and fell feet first, into.......

The hamper.

The hamper full of cushioning dirty clothes. There aren't many moments that I am proud of neglecting full hampers...but that day, I WAS PROUD.

This is a mom fail moment that made me laugh instead of cry, and I especially want to remember laughing moments.

:)

a holiday pho-tauge collection

i've been slacking in the cute photo department.

no longer!

here are some darling recents!

Thankfully I swam in her gene pool:

my family including my rue's great grandma D!

celebrating our first family christmas

great grandma D

new hat. new shirt.

Christmas Sunggles.

Rue's first sled!

looking like a little/big boy!

bathtime/two teethies

daddy & rue snuggles

my, what a big belly you have!

Hoods up, Glocks out

That's my man-handling motto for 2011 : Hoods up, Glocks out.

2010 rocked my world hard and instead of begging the new year to be gentle with me, I've decided to be proactive. I'm gonna kick some ass and take some names!

So here's my ballsy new year's resolutions list in no particular order:

1. Get out of debt

2. Spend more QT with my favorite people

3. Purge! Rid my life of excess things and time robbers

4. Allow myself more grace. I am still growing up after all

5. Make time to pursue my art

6. Spend more time in the kitchen trying new recipes

5. {in a slightly uncertain, sheepish voice} get pregnant?

That last one's 'the doozy' for me since becoming a mom was the most difficult part of 2010. But the hard days are behind me and the bad memories have faded. I am so in love with my son and I can totally see the shiny in this whole mom deal. So, we'll see!?

Cheers friends! I hope you too have made some kickin' resolutions for yourself.

2011 HOLLA.

cheers 2010

What a heck of a year it's been. The best and worst year of my life.

The birth of my son - best. Two years of marriage celebrated - best.

First 4 months of his life - worst. Health issues - worst.

I can't wait for a new year. A fresh start. Kind of like having a horrible day and by the end of it you are dying to crawl into your bed and go to sleep. There's no guarantee that tomorrow will be better, but you hope it will be. That's how it's been around here.

Dress up. Pop the Champagne. Cheers. Bottoms Up!

I haven't fallen into a black hole in case you were wondering

I'm baaaaaaaack!

My brief blogging hiatus was not intentional. No...I've been suffering what is called 'my6montholdMacdiedandthebatterywon'tcharge' syndrome. It's been quite severe and as you can well imagine it was painful. But, with some patience and a christmas miracle she came back to life. So here I am!

I missed it! My blog, and friends, and comments, and your blogs. I will need a few days to catch up on everything that has happened in your ya'lls blogospheres.

Christmas has come and gone but the good memories stay. Baby's First Christmas was a success. But frankly I don't know why I bothered to buy toys...I could've wrapped my tupperware and he would've been fascinated! My in-laws showered him with gifts of course, but thank goodness nothing sings/lights up/plays annoying songs. My sister in law Amy and her husband Mike [along with their tiny yappy chihuahua Bella] where here to share the holiday with us too. It was a full.house. But it was fun. We ate, and ate....and ATE for 5 days straight. My skinny jeans look painted on now. Cue 2011 New Year's Resolutions [Pilates]

But back to the food - I made the infamous Pumpkin Cream Pie and Spicy Molasses Ginger cookies all by Pioneer Woman. DEEEEELISH. And Ina's Engagement Roast Chicken [shaaa-mazing]. Ohhh and I can't forget to tell you about Christmas morning breakfast : Bourbon French toast & pepper bacon. Uh huh...yep. I was redic-ulicious!

Our tree was packed with presents, our bellies were full, our fire roared, & our house was cheery. It was indeed a good holiday and a wonderful end to a beautifully strange year.

2011, I can't wait to see what you have in store.

10 months [alternatively titled 'Hide Your Daughters']

eat your heart out world, my baby is TEN months old today!

Kiddo, I spend my days watching you grow, learn, fall down, and relearn.

You are breath-takingly adorbs.

With each day you seem to take on new words, new babbles, new phrases.

Just today you sang to me nearly verbatim the tune of 'oh christmas tree'.

I only started singing you that song YESTERDAY.

(although strangely enough, you STILL don't say Mama)

You have just 2 teeth, count em, 2.

You are a FOODIE if I've ever seen one!!!

You actually get MAD at me if I don't give you the food that I'm eating.

So far the only thing you have ever spit out in disgust is brown rice cereal, which I assume is because quite simply it's tasteless and awful.

I find that so endearing ;)

Someday we will travel the world together and you will learn all the names of amazing foods and we will eat it ALL.

Until then, I will keep giving you my lentils and watch you chomp with glee.

I love you Rue Rabbit.

Antoine Dodson

We have mice.

I'm sure most city dwellers have them.

They are smart ones. Somehow they have avoided our peanut butter & nutella laced traps.

I don't know exactly how we'll catch these little vermin but one things for sure :

they will meet their maker. In the immortal words of Antoine Dodson.

'Hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife, hide yo' husbands, cause we're killing erre'body in here!'