feel your ta-ta's!

hey doves, uber quick post today:

Yesterday during my routine prenatal visit, I showed the [male.]OB a lump on my breast that has developed this last month. It's quite hard and painful. So after few people felt me up, and an ultrasound, we found that it is a cyst. I am certain that it is benign, however a biopsy has been scheduled for tomorrow [th] afternoon. blah.

I feel like a loaded gun. I am so chock full of emtions that I could just go off... laughing and crying in the same breath. Please pray for me, or if you don't believe in prayer, send me your quasi-good-feeling-organic-yoga vibes. I need it very much. [i get results on friday]


okie. big big love to you all. and remember: feel your ta-ta's! it's important.

warm fuzzies

'From the moment I heard my first love story
I began to look for you
Not knowing how foolish that was
Great lovers don’t finally meet
They are born into eachother all along'

-Rumi

A stranger on a plane shared that Rumi poem with me a few years ago, and it changed me.

I'll never forget that lovely day.

R.I.P

fyi, there was a death in the family recently.
fuego, my hand me down fish died Sunday morning.
he popped. quite literally.

sigh.

he asked me to not take his picture in his last days....he was looking kind of phishy.

the end.

new baby in town

Welcome to life EVA!
My beautiful friend Sam gave birth to her first daughter Eva on July 30th, with a short and easy delivery of only 2 hours. She is the hero of my life right now. Read her beautiful birth story on her blog Baby Moist

on my end of things, blogging has been a little slow because not only have I been busy sleeping, but all that's on my mind is baby Brink. I don't want to overwhelm you readers with non-stop- all-things-baby....but what can I say?? I'm excited!! It's all I think about and pretty much all I feel like writing about. Hope you don't mind. If you do, mmmm get used to it. Once my little joy bundle gets here it will be non stop pictures, breastfeeding updates, questions and 'they slept a 4 hour stretch' happies.

ok lovies. ciao.

confessions of a pregnant woman

Greetings from the tail end of the first trimester-ebbing one week into the second trim. I'm still waiting for the infamous and illustrious energy and oompf that is supposed to accompany it.

This may be brief, but I have many confessions.

• Firstly I haven't been blogging because, I've been sleeping. Quite frankly, I'd rather be sleeping than do pretty much anything. However, I HAVE managed to clean, do laundry, and cook a decent meal for my husband. It just involves lots of naps, sitting down and couching.

• I am starting to panic a bit. Like the 'I have aboslolutely NO IDEA how to take care of a baby' and then my wise husband reminds me that 'no first time mothers have any real idea of what to do....but they learn.' Ah thank you God for giving me a wise man.

• I begin to hyperventilate when I think of how much crap there is in the basement that needs to be sorted through and chucked out. Can I accomplish that while sleep walking??

• All our houseguests and the insanity-of-too-much-activity-jammed-packed-into-two-weeks has finally passed, but I'm still exhausted even after a weekend of nothingness. We've sworn off house guests forever (or until my best friend Kate visits in September) That's what happens when I make my guest room up so cute. People overvisit! lol

• I've been thinking SO much about the birth. Where we want it, who will be here... it will be such a precious time in our lives and I want to plan it well.

• 15 week belly pics were taken today, so I'll post them soon. I didn't like my 14 week, which is why I didn't show em!

ok doves, time for me to ready dinner. love to you all.

xx, Yana

totally. elated.

last night one of my all time favorite people in the world stopped by for a surprise visit.
Niki, with freshly printed ultrasound in hand, announced that she is 9 weeks pregnant.

This is a miracle baby! In a condesed form of a nutshell: After a decade of marriage and never wanting children, Niki's maternal alarm clock went off and told her "i want to make babes" but there was the complication of unovulatory cycles, which made it impossible. 2 years later, she's sqeauling with me in my living room....it's a miracle!

:) I am SO elated for her, as a friend and woman. I've seen her heartache these past two years, and now that is behind her. We are due one month and 2 weeks apart! Our babies will be friends!! You may remember my January post about Niki's amazing work Happy Clay. Be sure to check her out!


On my end of things, everything is going smoothly. No naseau. Just a two day bout with heartburn after a [regretted] chicken burrito from Taco Bell. Road trips make people do dumb things sometimes. I'm mainly just really sleepy. Waiting paitently for my second trimester and the ellusive energy that supposedly comes with it!

love to anyone reading!

xx, Y

13 weeks

'thar she grows!'

[hah! the change from 12-13 weeks is quite noticable, don't you think? Tomorrow is week 14, so more pics to come soon. xoxo]

life's a beach.

my oh my, what a week. [actually more like 2]

So much to tell! On the 18th, I turned the ripe age of 25. Milestone much?
My mom threw me a lovely dinner party at which we ate enough food for 30 people [there were only 12 mouths] We licked our lips with lamb, hummus, caprese, about 5 other salads, cheeses, olives, sparkling ciders for me, wine for everyone else, breads, fruit tart, ice cream and fresh fruit. It was a pregnant starving woman's heaven. Not to mention, I got gorgeous gifts from everyone. it was truly a wonderful evening. I was so glad to be surrounded by people who love me so much.

It was also quite the mind job to think that 'by this time next year...I'll be sporting a 6 month old on my hip...' [eeeeeeee!]

Oh yeah, and did I mention that I had 4 house guests and took an impromtu trip to Ohio to see some old friends! Like I said before busy week. Yesterday I spent the day cleaning my floors and doing 5 loads of laundry. Now I'm wiped, but NOT QUITE wiped enough to pass the opportunity to throw a little party for some friends tonight. Sean and Kate are thinking of moving to my are and we are trying to seal the deal by showing them a great time. I'm thinking Sushi party.

Cheers loves!

12 weeks already...?

big things come in small packages...

[photo by Niki Crosby of Happy Clay]

book: devoured

I've devoured this book in less than a week. Recommended by a friend, it has informed me of so many things about birthing & hospitals I didn't know. I love being informed. Ignorance isn't bliss, it's entrapment. Information is power, and what's better than being empowered? Especially when it comes to giving birth!?

You are what you eat, and you are what you read!

Do you have a book about babies/birthing/pregnancy that you would recommend to me?

i love Imogen Heap.

can't wait for her new album!

black bean salad deliciousness

mmmmm.

I've eaten one of these puppies nearly every day since I saw Casablanca's post about her black bean salad with veggies fresh from her garden. While I don't have my own garden, and am rather bummed about it, I still was inspired to eat. Hah, I don't seem to have a problem eating anything now-a-days. Just offer!

Ok, so here's my little recipe for an uber delicious BB salad...with ingredients from my local amish farmers. Yay for farmers.

Black beans (if you are really good, you will soak and cook them yourself. I opt for organic cans)

Tomato

Cucumber

Red Bell Pepper

White Cabbage (thin shreds, and they key is to squeeze them after chopping. Help to break them down and the dressing really soaks in!)

Avocado

Fresh Cilantro (a lot)

Fresh Mint and Basil are also SO good

Top it off with some salt and pepper, generous lemon juice and olive oil....and voila!

If you want to kick it up a notch (Emeril.) add some diced jalepeno and fresh garlic. yum!

Thanks Casablanca for the inspiration!

:) haappy eeaating!

11 weeks & counting...

Today marks my 11th week of pregnancy. Baby Brink is now the size of two starbucks sugar packets. How sweet. Last week we saw the heartbeat at my first ultrasound, and I can tell you that my heart skipped a beat. It was a phenomenal feeling to see our little lima beans' eyes, head, little arms and beating hard. The technician was so nonchalant, 'and there is the little peanut' but I was like 'omg. it's real. it's really in there! wow!' Seems that a little bit of faith is needed for this kind of thing, because at this point I'm growing at such a slow rate I hardly feel pregnant. Top it off with not an ounce of morning sickness or intollerance to any foods. But that's only physically. Mentally, emotionally and spiritually I'm on a topsy turny ride. Maternal insticts are forming. I've been reading books, blogs and this birth story today and balled my eyes out.
So while my body is telling me only that I'm more tired than usual, my heart is telling me, 'you are going to be a mamma.'

I don't know if I should begin posting 'belly' pics...there's not much there to show yet!? Should I?

Our babe's first glamour shot:

happy year of love

June 8th was our 1 year wedding anniversary! We ventured down to D.C. for the weekend. we had known for a week that we were pregnant, so we had two reasons to celebrate!!
It was a great time for us to get away, relax, shop, & eat. We spent a lot of that weekend talking about our #2 year, and dreaming about being parents. What an adventure we are about to take!

Well doves, it is late, and time for me and the bean to sleep. I hope you all have a delicious and sunny and happy holiday, overeating and lighting sparklers! Enjoy!

Xx,
Yana

because cable is SO much more important than an ultrasound

we had an appointment to get an ultrasound tuesday of this week.
In my total excitment and glee, I didn't remember we had the cable guy scheduled for the same time. for whatever reason, we changed the ultrasound app, not the cable. [i am still irked about it] and I called to confirm my rescheduled app for tomorrow, and they are telling me the office is closed and they don't know how that could've happened [like it's my fault they are retarded?]
I'm waiting for the office to call back and reschedule me, but I hate knowing that it might be another week...

i'm crying because all I want to do is see/hear the little babe and it keeps getting delayed.
what's a girl to do if she can't cry to her fellow bloggers??

{ EDIT: God works in mysterious ways. I have been rescheduled for tonight at 7:15! woohooo!!!!! }

the future is at my doorstep

Last night I woke up at 2:30 thinking of baby names. (subconcious musings?) I laid in bed till 4:30 and couldn't stand to be hungry any longer (hungry all the time!) So I ventured down into the kitchen and made some toast. Then I drank a small cup of OJ (apparantly I have the smallest kidney in the universe now) and ate some berries. As I dined on my 4 am snack, I thought, and thought. and thought. I thought of this little lima bean sized life growing in me. I thought about time. And how it moves forward in nearly violent force.
"I've already been married a year and a month! I'm turning 25!? And my babe will be here, in my arms, in 7 months. That's nearly half a year!! Before I know it, the babe will be 6 months old. Then they will be walking! Then...graduating from middle school. Then College!!! Then they will come home with their love and tell me they are getting married.........."

OMG. Please someone, tell me to slow down! I know my brain moves in recdiculous ways, but I'm just going to freak myself right out if I keep thinking like this.

That was how I went to bed last night. This morning I purposed to just.....enjoy today. And not to be so anxious, just excited. Maybe I'm not ready to see my 'heart running around on the outside of my body' is how my friend Katie explains her love for her children. It must be the most incredible thing to watch a child grow, mingled with a twinge of sadness. Oy. These emotions!
Hopefully you will all stay with me as I ride this rollercoaster...I have a feeling there will be many more blogs like this.

Love, Y

Oh my stars!

Doves!
It's finally happened. I am the proud owner of Internet and Cable! (i'm not excited about the cable part, honestly. After 1 year without it, I thought I'd never need it again) But the internet! !

So finally, updating my posts, pictures and hours of web wandering will be a cinch! Oh my stars! (I've only really heard the phrase 'oh my stars' used by two people. My mother, and my friend Madeline, and I love it. So cute!)

Well, my last post was quite the tear jerker for me. Not surprising, these hormones are a doozy!
So, all of you beautiful women out there who are proud mothers, you can believe I will be devouring your blogs for any and all things baby. Any recommended books/dvd's/websites I must know about? This is a whole new world for me and I'm eager to learn. Of course, I know that the best learning will be 'hands on'. Oh, Jan 30th! Be still my heart!

xx, Y

'The story of the littlest Brink'

Wow, I didn't expect to burst into tears as I sat down to type this. I really wasn't expecting that at all.

But, alas, I am, expecting. A little baby. My first. A child. My child.

I'm 9 weeks pregnant!

I'm suddenly, so overwhelmed seeing the words written 'my child' that I can hardly type.
You can't see how long I'm taking to write this, but take my word for it....

I am so: excited, happy, nervous, anxious, dreamy, shocked, processing, amazed, in-love, overwhelmed........and so many other emotions that I can't even put it into words.

This is not another 'chapter' in life...this is more like whole new book. With beautiful, crisp, blank white pages, waiting for this little story to unfold and change my life forever. Welcome, littlest Brink!

I. couldn't. be. happier.

xx, Yana

pritty tuulips

Chris and I are headed to Maine this weekend to celebrate his dad's birthday, Father's Day and also visiting some friends. Until I am home again, I thought I would leave with you some photos of my tulips. The bloomed so gloriously, and now they are gone, until next spring.
Enjoy, and have a loverly weekend!!

xx, Yana

Art show !

Hello doves,
Today is a thundery rainy day in Eastern PA, and I took the opportunity to go to Borders with a friend and do some important stuff. [leafing through books, magazines, sipping on iced green tea, blogging]

I didn't expect such a lapse in blogging, but I was busy preparing for my first art show! It was quite successful! Selling wasn’t my goal, and I didn’t, but the experience and exposure was thrilling. After meeting and becoming acquainted with gallery owners & partners John & Gary of HMAC http://www.harrisburgarts.com/ we quickly bonded. I soon learned that they are a very rare type of people, less like gallery owner/entrepreneur/business men, and more mothering hens. They want to see local artists and artisans exposed and out there, baring their best, artistically speaking. In response to my fear of ‘what if you don’t like my stuff, Gary’ he hugged me and replied, ‘darling, even if it’s mediocre, it doesn’t matter. We’ll find a corner for you! Just do it. We want you to show’. Last Friday night I displayed 5 pieces at the Stage on Herr Gallery and because of the rain the attendance was a little low for an art walk. Thankfully many of my friends came to support me and cheer me on.

That night I fired my inner critic. She was such a downer, a real negative Nancy.

This series was done on galvanized sheet metal. It’s a beautiful medium, but not always the easiest to work with. Thankfully my tetanus shot is up to date, as I certainly had my fair share of scrapes, cuts, nicks, and blood loss. I hope you Enjoy! Cheers :)