9 months.

you are 9 months old muffin!

biggest month marker so far because you have lived as long on the outside as you did on the inside.

that makes pregnancy seem like an eternity!

you climb the entire flight of stairs in under 10 seconds.

this happens of course when I am fixing you a bottle, and forget to put the gate up.

suddenly you are at the top and my heart skips a beat.

you have graduated to a 'big boy' bath and you L.O.V.E. bath time.

splashing around, playing with your toys.

you are still sporting 2 bottom teeth, but we are rooting on your top four which seem to be come in together. ouchie.

you love to eat puffs, and it only took you a day to get your pincher fingers down pat.

you have great motor skills.

sometimes in the morning as you wait for me to come get you, I hear you singing.

other times you are really quiet and when I peek in your room to see what you're up to, I find you standing in the corner of the crib, holding the curtain back and peering out the window.

daddy and I think you are RAD.

xo,

mama

well, they certainly got the TRICK part down.

Happy Halloween? Not so much.

To start this blog right, I will preface it with the fact that *we sort-of live in the ghetto*

The first wave of kids that showed up were teen moms with their two year olds in strollers.

The second wave of were kids that scoffed when we only gave them two pieces of candy.

The third was a kid that opened my front door and took some candy. Granted, it was the neighbor boy, but stiiiill.....opening my door? IDON'TTHINKSO.

The last boy was a 14 year old, no costume, no candy bucket and he was on his cell phone. Just stuck his hand out.

The next morning I realized my giant pumpkin had been stolen, and smashed down the street.

Add the pumpkin to the list of things that have been stolen:

2 umbrellas

a Mum

For the love of all that is good and holy, what the hell is wrong with this neighborhood??

I am already dreaming of living in a safe suburban cookie cutter neighborhood, where my neighbors are polite and are THANKFUL for free candy and I can walk around with my boy and enjoy the holiday. For now, I just won't keep anything else on my porch.

video of the day

I wish everyone enjoyed their jobs like this guy...

8.5 months!

This is a half month shout out to my baby boy...because this blog has turned unto my virtual baby book.

You are nearly 8.5 months and last week you said 'dada' for the first time.

It was out of nowhere!

One minute you are quietly sitting in the shopping cart as I avoided crashing into the gobs of stuff at Bed Bath and Beyond [I loathe that store, it makes me claustrophobic]

and you start....

'ddddaaaaaaaadaahhhh. DDddaaaadddda.'

So it looks like Dad won the battle of who's name you would say first.

[gahhh]

You are in 'explore the world mode' allllll thhhheeee tiiiimme.

It's really fun and really tiring.

But I wouldn't quench your zest for life, for anything.

You LOVE food and you smack your lips like a fishy when you see us eat.

Just yesterday your friend Eva spilled her cherio's on the ground, you gobbled them up so fast; it was as if manna was falling from heaven down on you!

I say this with all honesty, I have so much FUN hanging out with you.

When you crawl around my feet as I sweep, or hang on to my legs as I cook, it melts me.

Or my favorite: when you are in the middle of your fun, you pause and look around the room till you see me and we smile at each-other.

I love that at such a young age you are already look to me for acknowledgment and approval.

You make my heart sing little bear.

xox, Mama

[here's proof that even cartoons hate Bed Bath & Beyond]

Brink Costume Party 2010

Chris and I threw our first costume party. It was a success!

What happened? Delicious food, dancing & a very taboo game of Taboo.

Who came? Navi Avatars, Pirates, a gay 'Cop Out' Cop, Wayne & Garth, a Coyote headdress, Jillian Michaels, The Mad Hatter & Alice, and Dorothy from Oz [who was our friend Mike wearing his wife's dress & shoes, btw]

PARTY ON, WAYNE.

PARTY ON, GARTH.

EXCELLENT!

4 years of LOVE

4 years ago [on a bench under a tree with orange leaves falling around us] Chris asked me to be his girlfriend.

I am so glad I said yes!

Four long-but-seemingly-short years later, we have dated, became 'fee-yawn-cays', got married and became Mr & Mrs, bought & renovated a house, loved each other real good, got pregnant [probably due to the loving real good part] & had our firstborn son. It's been an adventure to say the least, and I couldn't be more thrilled so share my life with you Christopher.

Cheers to love!

Read our love story!!! :)

i'm such a cougar

one year and three months after I was born, my husband was born.

yes. that means that I married a younger man.

yesterday he turned 25! a whole quarter of a century.

in all seriousness, you are the coolest person I've ever met and I am so happy you chose me. hopefully we can celebrate *at least* 75 more birthdays together.

happy birthday christopher.

xo, yana 'cradle robber' brink

8 months!?

my little man.

you are 8 months old!

I've always said you were a quiet baby, but the last few days you found your lungs

[and I mean that in a positive way]

your latest thing is shrieking and screeching.

you open your mouth wide and stick your tongue out really far and SHRIEK.

it makes your dad and I laugh out loud.

your smile is contagious.

you are getting cuter by the day.

you love other babies.

you follow me around as I sweep the house like I am the most fascinating thing in the world.

you have two teeth! :)

...and to risk sounding redundant...

i think you are amazing and I LOVE YOU.

xo, mama

teeth & fallish things

happyyyyy fall friends!!

we had a delicious and eventful weekend at the Brink Haus! I loooooove weekends oh so much.

hightlights :

we went to a pumpkin patch with some of our favorite friends

we ate fresh molasses cookies.

we got lost in a corn maze, a first for Rue!

we saw goats, pigs, chicken and cows.

Rue ate some hay [ and choked on an apple. I debated on wether or not to include this detail... Major Mom Fail.]

we picked out the perfect little pumpkins.

we bought a beautiful red mum for the porch.

we watched movies.

we did a family photo shoot with Claire Pelella Photography

we drank spiked hot chocolate.

we snuggled on the couch.

it was a good as it sounds...until....1:30 AM when screams and tears poured from Rue's room. Approximately 3 hours later, one miserable little boy cut not one, but two teeth! Thank God! These teeth have been a long time coming! He's been teething for months, and so you can imagine how happy he was the following day! I called him the angel-saint baby.

It was a truly great weekend that I wished would never end!! I HEART FALL!

blogs to love

Who doesn't love stumbling upon a new blog? The ones that you can barely peel your eyes away from?? Here are some of my all time faves!

The Pepper Patch

My friend Katie is the bees knees. She is a beautiful woman, chef extraordinare, & mother of 4 boys under the age of 6. She is amazing and she inspires me and many of our mutual friends. She is hilarious and truthfully honest about life; some days she has it together cooking delicious gourmet meals, and other days she is taking her rowdy boys to a pizza shop. You will love her blog as much as I do!

Barefoot Childhood

Madeline was my freshman college roommate. She recently got married and had a baby girl at home, Sophia Mae, which made her adorable son Levi a big brother. She is a crafty mama, whipping up scarves, hats and cute animals. Her blog is full of cute stories, cuter pictures and great DIY projects.

Swonderland

I found Erin's blog through Madeline about two years ago and I would say she 'had me at hello'. She writes candidly and creatively about being a stay at home mother of 3. I really, really love her blog, and I secretly wish we lived closer so that I could know her gem of a self in real life and not just be a blogger stalker. [did I just say that out loud?]

If the Lamp Shade Fits

Oh the snark! Raina is my all time favorite decor blogger, full of wit, charm, sass, & inappropriate comments. La Lampshade is adorned with the prettiest and fugliest designs out there. You will not be disappointed. Promise.

Casablanca

Not unlike like the gravitational pull of the earth to the sun, I am drawn to sarcastic bloggers.

Enters Casablanca. A must read. True stories that are hilarious. Two beautiful daughters who are nearly just as witty as their mama.

There are more blogs I love, but that's enough to keep you going for a good while.

What are your favorite blogs??

Happy Reading Friends!

Good Mommy/Confessions of a new mom

The moment I found out I was pregnant I thought 'wow. I hope that I will be a good mom to this little baby!' I had a pretty strong idea of what a 'good' mom meant, and I had no idea I would be setting myself up for failure. 'Good' mom equated to = 'perfect'.

I had this idea that a good mom was: Effortless. Organic. Chic. On top her game. Co-slept. Wore her baby all the time. Cloth diapered. Breastfed. Never depressed. Never lost her temper. Made fresh home made baby food all the time. Stylish. Always showered, clean and wore makeup.

I quickly [and by quickly, I mean quickly] realized I had failed. It's easy to fail when you have unrealistic Mt. Kilimanjaro-sized expectations for yourself.

Yet I still struggled with myself. "Am I still a good mom if I run out of grace and lose my temper? Am I a bad mom if I leave Rue to cry in his crib after my bag of tricks to entertain/feed/clothe/distract gets emptied? Am totally lame that he has most likely eaten a cup of dirt/leaves/grass while I wasn't looking? Do good mom's let their kids suck all the ink off the tags from toys made in China???

The answer that I have come to 8 months later ? OF COURSE I'M A GOOD MOM. I'm a great mom. Webster's definition of good is : of a favorable character or tendency. Virtuous. Right. Commendable. Adequate. Suitable.

Some days I: lose my temper, forget deodorant, don't start dinner until 8 pm, leave dirty clothes to roast and stew for a week, let Rue eat grass, cry when I'm exasperated and wish someone would hold me and rock me to sleep.... but, I'm a good mom because I love good. I love hard. I adore my son. I do the best that I can and that's enough. I don't strive for perfection anymore, just the best version of myself. And who knows maybe someday Rue will adore me and think that I'm perfect, just like they way I looked at my mom when I was little. I don't think he's going to care that about any of the petty things that I beat myself up with.

If you are reading this and you can relate in any way, take heart. Go easy on yourself. I have read so many blogs that impacted me and really changed my view point, and I hope that I have done that for someone else today. Learn from my mistakes! Know that you are a GREAT mom no matter what. And for heaven's sake, let's omit the term 'good' mom and adopt being 'great', shall we??

it's 7:51 am.

baby woke up at 5:30 [2 hours] earlier than usual.

then, he threw up an entire meal on me and my pretty wool anthropologie rug.

it's only 7:54 am, and I am working on coffee cup #2.

so instead on dwelling on how bad I smell and how $ it will be to clean my rug, I'm going to stare at the mega watt smile above and think happy thoughts.

good morning motherhood!

7 months old

sitting like a pro.

crawling like mad.

squealing with delight.

scaling the coffee table.

standing up in his crib.

getting his fair share in bumps and bruises.

fearless.

happy 7 months little dude!

seriously, I'm crawling

Look at the seriousness on his face!

Crawl Face from Yana Banova-Brink on Vimeo.

my house is a giant choking hazard

the coffee table has been cleared.

the rocks from the fake fireplace have been removed.

the pretty breakable things have been moved higher up...

...'cause this boy is cra-cra-crawling! The skooch-along army-crawl has been in the works for about 3 weeks, but yesterday he finally got the real crawl. The 'one uncertain arm followed by one uncertain knee, followed by a more certain arm'....and voila. I'm so proud.

And I'm also paranoid. Now that he can get places, I realize my house is one great big giant choking hazard. So the official baby-proofing began yesterday. Because, I am tryyying, but I don't know when kids begin to understand the word NO. Or NO-NO, as I say it. So I'd rather just move the chemicals and small inedible objects. We can learn the meaning of No-No later.

What he lacks in speed [at the moment] he makes up for in passion. He crawls with PURPOSE people. His determination makes me laugh. Goodbye knees of milky skin, hello rug burn red! Speaking of rug burn knees - his only pair of leg warmers were dirty, and I needed a quick fix. So I took some old socks and cut the toe parts off. I reincarnated my hole-in-the-toes Wonder Woman socks into crawlers for Rue. I'm so crafty & cheap it kills me.

He's also standing up in his crib, pulling himself up onto the coffee table and attempting to climb the couch. Like it's a rock climbing wall and he's been doing it for years. Is this normal at his tender age of 6 months 3 weeks??

.

.

.

{and now onto some thoughts that have nothing to do with this post, but are gnawing away at my brain nonetheless}

I don't know how long it takes for one's hormones and feelings to go back to normal [whatever 'normal' is, or was] but I'm still not feeling 100% myself yet. Seems like mom's who had 'postpartum' or barely scraped by the first few months take longer to adjust emotionally. Baby boy is 7 months old next week, and I am shedding no tears. I love him more than anything, but wow....what a RIDE it's been. I am hoping my next child doesn't do me in the same way. [Wow, did I actually just say 'my next child' out loud?? I must be farther along in my recovery than I thought] haha. What are your thoughts moms? Am I normal in still feeling 'out of it'?

Looking to the future with hope in my heart,

Yana

Read Me Happy

I love to read.

Being a new mom, my favorite autobiographies, novels & non-fiction have been put back on the shelf for a hiatus and I've taken a nose dive into the world of children's books. But don't think for a second that I'm complaining. I love a good story and illustration. Maybe one day when I'm a grown up I will move past a pipe dream and seriously consider becoming an illustrator [...]

Here is a sampling of what Rue and I are currently reading.

Shine Moon Shine by David Conway. The graphics are done in beautiful pastels, and the story is simple & sweet. When the moon gets lonely up in space by himself, he lands on earth. One little boy makes it his mission to turn night into a happy place so the moon won't be lonely any longer.

The Pigeon Wants a Puppy, by Mo Willems.

An adorable series about a poignant pigeon who knows what he wants, that is, until he gets it.

ABC's, by Charley Harper. A fantastically illustrated alphabet book. [Charlie has another fantastic book Illustrated Life]

What's your [kids] favorite book?

Happy reading.

xo, Y

hold me closer Tony Danza [or was it tiny dancer?]

My kid. Doing his thing. Walkin' his beat. Shakin' his groove.

NEVER STOPS MOVING. EVER.

Enjoy!

xoxo,

Y

Rue 'flash dance' Brink from Yana Banova-Brink on Vimeo.

the first weeks

I planned to have this video done months ago, but 'life' got in the way.
Here it finally is, my first edited film! My baby was so little then, and now he is just about crawling! It's unbelievable. I should start working on a crawling video...it should be finished by the time he's walking. Haha.

Enjoy!

Baby Ruehl - the first weeks of life [on the outside] from Yana Banova-Brink on Vimeo.

sentimental gushy wooshy

I began drafting a post yesterday to commemorate Ruehl's '6th months on the outside' and as I looked at all the photos [of my very skinny baby who resembled Benjamin Button; such an old soul] and videos [wow, does my voice really sound like that?] ... can I just say, YA'LL, I got so freakin ooshy gooshy melty sad happy feelings going on.

In my mind, he was just born yesterday! [sort of] and now WHAM-O, he's half a year old.

6 months:

He is such a chilled kiddo.

He loves to sleep 11 hours a night, sans interruption.

He rolls all over the place.

He started eating brown rice cereal.

He can feed himself a bottle.

He is a HUGE flirt.

He cuddles.

He began 'rocking'...I think crawling is just around the corner.

He doesn't like to sit though...too much of a mover.

He's my little bebe webe.

I'll continue working on a photo/video blog...let me just get a Costco sized tissue box out and I'll finish it.

In honor of breastfeeding week, I'm going to cry some more

I thought I was over it*.

It*, being, the fact that we had to stop breastfeeding.

I should rephrase that- we didn't HAVE to but after three months of baby's non-stop crying and pain due to a sensitivity to lactose, we chose to stop. I could've waited it out another 3+ months till his stomach settled, but I was on the verge of a major breakdown.

So, with that said, we had to stop breastfeeding. Most of you who have stuck around HGBB know this fact already. And I thought, I was over it. A tearful phone call to a good friend yesterday morning proved otherwise. I am not over the disappointment, sadness and pain that I feel from not getting that experience with my baby. To give him the best nutrition possible. To bond.

I needed to be 'over it' because its just what I had to do. To accept it. To move on. To be a happy mommy for my baby. But, being that it's breastfeeding week and all, my Facebook and blog reading list is inundated with photos, blogs and news articles about how horrible formula is and how superior boob milk is, and it's honestly making me feel pretty crappy. I KNOW that formula isn't the best, but what else can I do at this point? I'm such a natural person, I totally anticipated bfeeding for over a year...and that is not possible anymore.

I expect mom's to be proud that they are breastfeeding, it just hurts that I can't. I wish I wasn't affected by opinions and other people, but I am. Especially when it comes to that little 17 lb bundle of joy that I call my son; whom I am happy to say is happier, lovelier and cuter than ever. So, formula may suck, but my kid is happy. All haters can just suck it; a bottle of formula that is. ;)