sand in all the right places

Florida. Was. Lovely.

[ignore the improper grammar and hear my sentiment.]

[I need to pause between each word for emphasis.]

Florida. Family. Vacation. Was. So. Lovely.

!!!

I *actually* rested. I didn't think that resting & relaxing on vacation was possible with a toddler. Honest. But we did, and it was magnificent. We grilled. We swam. We sunbathed. We walked. We played shuffleboard with the rest of the 65+ snowbirds. We fed seagulls. We rented a boat. We talked about baby girl names. We laughed. We played speed and Taboo [& I kicked Chris's butt] We didn't watch tv. We didn't sleep in [thanks to Runi]. We went on a date night to a swanky foodie restaurant [thanks to Coco for babysitting]. We got sand in all the right places. 

It was a glorious final vacation as a family of 3!

Photos to come.

xo.

instagram happiness

his first snow day

27 weeks            

morning snuggles 

feeding the ducks 

snow walk           

               

rue getting cozy   

old chair, new home

  ruff day                   

  loving on his Coco    

 wet cheerios, fat chin

  

   naked alphabet time 

the most beautiful Anthro rug I've ever seen is now laying on my living room floor. 

It was a surprise gift from my mother. 

I am freaking out.

                        

[Re] fresh

I recently shared some fears about the next baby. There's something to be said about getting things off your chest, sharing, putting yourself out there...and with the right support team around you, there's no judgement or shame. Just encouragement. Love. Support. And that is the case for me. I am in a MUCH better place. My heart is refreshed. I'm thankful.

I am also thankful for......VACATION. Saturday my family and I are headed to Siesta Keys, FL for a week. This is our first vacation in over a year! My parents are joining us for 5 days too! I am so looking forward to some good QT time. It will be Rue's first trip to the beach (well, we took him to Hawaii when he was 5 months old, but that didn't count because then he was just eating the sand! Now we will be playing, building sand castles and searching for sea shells!) AND, it's my gorgeous mom's birthday! I see lots of laughs, delicious food, and fun in the future. And, 80 degree weather. HELLO. It snowed last weekend...so I'm thankful for some sunshine! 

I should go pack. But that would mean pausing this Grey's Anatomy rerun, getting up off this couch and out from under this warm blanket. 

Ain't gonna happen.

;)

shank you very much.

I have some seriously awesome, seriously wise friends. So many encouraging words given on & off this blog. Thanks for your love on my last post. In theory; I KNOW I am going to be fine, in the end.  I am better off this time around, for starters, because now I know I'm not perfect. What I mean is, I didn't realize I was a massive perfectionist, which set me up for massive 'failure' when I couldn't fulfill my perfect expectations for myself. I was my worst judge, worst personal enemy.

So out with the bathwater the perfectionism went, and I am a better person for it. I am going into the next phase of baby number two with as wide open a heart as possible, with arms big enough to embrace the little one and the huge changes that will come with it. With her! Still adjusting to the words 'her, she, sister' with a grin plastered to my face.

Till now pregnancy has gone without a hitch, thank goodness. But these past few days, on the other hand, I am starting to FEEL IT BIG TIME. That deep and strange pain in the pelvis feeling. And I have about 3 months left?? Oh dear me. And hormones are manifesting not in the weepies, but in the form of super annoyed and PO'd. 'The Anger Sharks Are Swimming!' has been said a lot lately. Haha.

But it's ok, I can do this...just 13 more weeks. The holidays will be here before I know it. I am thrilled to be hosting Thanksgiving & Christmas this year. With those two events, I will have plenty to keep me busy.

Well. Enough rambling.
Love you doves.

xo, Y

type & delete

...how many times do I start typing a post...then delete? How many times have I hit 'tap tap tap' on that delete button? How many drafts do I have sitting in my post box? Have I been gone too long, does this place seem unfamiliar? Or am I really just afraid of being honest?
Sometimes my mind feels like a high speed train on crack. So it's extra super fast-fast. Ideas float in and out and before I have a chance to grasp and process I hear a bowl of cheerios scatter across the floor. Grab a broom and go go go. I want to get back to that grasp & process part but I barely have a moment. Where is the dang "Selah" button when you need it!

Then he sleeps. Here's my moment. Brain kicks back into full gear. I think 'oh crap oh crap oh craaaapppp. Another baby. In three months. How will I handle it? How can I do this again? Will I survive it? The first go around was me surviving tooth and nail till the 7th month mark and even after that I still cried a lot. What is going to happen this time??'

The fear makes my mind numb. I start to zone out and stare into space. My mind goes from the speed of light, to a speed even a slug would be embarrassed by.

Then, I feel her kick.
Hello, reality check. Ready or not, prepared or not, baby will COME.
I take a deep breath.
Remember somehow, every little thing is gonna be alright. God tells me so.
Exhale.

I start typing. This time is don't hit the delete button. I just keep typing. I open my heart and keep typing. I don't shy away from being honest, from laying it out there for everyone to see. I let it be heard the I am scared of the unknown. Life doesn't have the undo/delete button. It's one choice, that leads to another, that makes the person you are, you.  Ever wonder what older you would tell the younger you? My older me would probably say 'Stop being a martyr. Grow a pair. Kids grow quick. Quit whining. Sex gets even better! Chin up buttercup!' I imagine older me is more sarcastic that younger me.

I didn't think when I started this post that it would turn out like this, but that's just the point. That's life. It's not what you expect. But we gotta do it like we mean it, and hit publish.

brink family, 2011

my beautiful little family of 3 (& 1/2) captured by the lovely Brit Fray.

http://www.britfrayphotography.com/

a post of happenings.

Lately.

I've been busy, pregnant and happy, and consequently, a terrible blogger. Too happy living life that I kind of, well forgot! I've been growing little Miss, who's name has yet to be chosen, but the list is narrowing down. We've been painting Ruehl's new room, & I've been wearing a gas masks while doing so. We are enjoying the glorious fall weather that we've been waiting so patiently for. We've been taking walks and crunching leaves. I've said adios to iced beverages and traded them for hot mugs. We've turned on the fireplace and cuddled under blankets. I've been cooking hearty soups and roasts. Today I bought a huge grocery bill's worth of yummy stuff to bake; sour cream coffee cake, spicy chewy ginger snaps with lemon frosting, & apple, blackberry and ginger pie. Yum. 

I've been planning my husband's 26th birthday celebrations. I've been wearing boots and sweaters. I've been spending as much time with friends and family as I can. I love getting to the end of the week, exhausted, from too much social activities. 

This weekend will be lots of birthday fun, food and maybe even a trip to a corn maze, petting zoo and pick your own pumpkin patch. 

Lately, I've been living. Thankful for the one I've been given.

What about you?

Lee can suck it!

Tropical storm Lee can go suck a lemon. This weather system blew into town last monday and has rained all week, causing major flooding in central PA. Yesterday the power, water and gas were shut off in ouor area and we were evacuated. We went to stay with some friends high and dry up on the mountain, but before we left we spent 5 hours moving everything from our basement into our dining and living room. Our basement was expected to flood 5-6 feet because the river near our house was well over flood stage. 12 ft over, to be more precise. So......we are hoping to find an open, non-flooded road to go home and check out the damage. Last we heard the flooding was going to be 2-3 feet in the basement, down from the first estimate 5-6 ft. Thank God.

So the cleanup we will have to do in the basement will be insane because the Susquehanna River is one of the dirtiest river in the US, [suck a lemon LEE!] not to mention there will also be sewer water too. Oh joy!! On top of the cleanup - the entire contents of my basement is sitting in my main floor. Which means, at least a week of insane purging, cleaning, sorting, and storing back in the basement.

This pregnant mama moved more than I physically should've, not to mention the emotional toll this took on me. Please keep us in your prayers as we deal with this disaster.

All my love,

Y


UPDATE: There was (thankfully!!!) only a foot in the basement! It drained quickly and thanks to Chris's dad Rich, they got the mud hosed down and bleached clean! And thanks to my mother in law Linda we got all my stuff organized, sorted and purged. So really, the circumstances to do it under was stressful, but it was really a blessing in disguise. I feel like such an accomplished woman - my basement is all organized and labeled in 20 gallon rubbermaid containers!! :-)

this is what Joy looks like

We had the privilege of working with the super talented, amazing, creative, lovely, sweet [shall I go on??] photographer Brittany Fray, of Brit Fray Photography. On saturday night we took our family photos, with baby girl at 20 weeks. It was a gorgeous day, with the golden sun and beautiful broken down barns as our backdrop. Here is a sneak peek.

would you like some cheese with that WHINE?

I don't know when it started or how it escalated, but somewhere along the line my little boy became a whiner. The whiny whines drain me of all energy and patience to deal.

WHAT'S A MAMA TO DO?? I'm at a loss.

Friends, any books/tips you could recommend? Puhleaze, help a sistah.

xo,

Y

It's a GIRL

Just home from our ultrasound & celebratory dinner; cheeks hurt from smiling all night.

We are having a GIRL! A little baby girl, who at present looks just like her big brother did when we first saw him at 19 weeks. A little girl that we will raise into a woman; that I will get to dress up and clip bows into her hair. Dollies and tutus and sweetness, oh my.

I have a daughter.

le sigh.

gray hairs and sleepless nights

'Motherhood can be rough, but someone's gotta do it. Kids don't raise themselves.'

That was my thought this morning in bed when I had a little pseudo woodpecker, pecking at my eyes and my tugging on my ears. [burrows under the covers] 'Mommy is sleeping Rue....go play in your room.'

Which thankfully he did. He listens. But oh, the collateral damage of that request! All the books off the shelf, the wooden blocks thrown across the room and then the monkey was back in my bed, playing his piano app on my phone, and then when he was done, he threw my phone at my head.

What a costly 5 minutes of sleep that was! And I say 'sleep' in the loosest term. Sleep. Oh sleep, I miss deep sleep. The kind where you know you won't be needed. The kind where you don't jerk awake from every little peep and cough and sneeze and cry and whine and moan. But that little grin that I get in the morning, when I go to pick him up...and he says 'UPPPPPPPP!' No matter how tired I may be, it is face meltingly cute.

From what my mother tells me, I was a perfect baby. Happy, easy going, never cried and slept everywhere. She made me think a baby would be a breeze. My son came out roaring and hasn't stopped since; it's obvious he takes after his father! Or, option 2 - my mother developed a severe case of memory loss and forgot. Maybe she chose to forget. Highly likely. I am sure mothers forget on purpose, and often.

Well, this bun in the oven may be another boy, but let's hope if it is a HE, that he'll be just like me.

Or else, I am going to be an early gray-er. [in hindsight, maybe I was setting myself up for this when we chose Grayson as his middle name? Touché God, touché]

growing belly, growing heart

Pregnancy is going waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay quicker than last time. WAY.

I have a crazy 17 month old to thank for that. No more sitting on my bum reading pregnancy books to my hearts content. I am running around after him!

Sunday I am 16 weeks. Which means, in 16 days, we will find out if we are having another boy or...a little girl. Just over 2 weeks to wait! That's it. Wow. Sheesh! Shit. That's insane.

In other amazing news, I can feel this baby moving already. Life is such a beautiful thing!

Just feeling sappy, that's all.

xo

week 13

27.

Monday was my birthday. I am 27 years old, and it feels goooood.

I truly had the best weekend ever. Eveeerrrrrrrrrrr. When you love something a lot you are allowed to write with extra consonants and vowels. It was ahhhmmazing.

Sunday morning started out with gift opening. My stud husband gave me a camera. A swoon worthy, drool worthy Canon Rebel tSi. I cried a little. Finally, I can take the photos that I see in my minds eye. We left the baby at home with my in-laws and headed to Philly. On the way we made a fabulous detour to Terrain, Anthropolgie's outdoor home and garden store. It was incredibly rustic. Every where you looked was something beautiful and inspiring. Their cafe is in a greenhouse, where we dined on a delicious brunch. Our favorite part was the bread that they bake and serve in a terra cotta pot, paired with a lavender honey butter. I'm still rolling my eyes....it was soooooooooooo good.

From there we headed into Philly where we grabbed a Starbucks and hit my fave Anthro. I picked out a few home tchotckes [that sounds better than it looks] and knobs for my new buffet. Then an afternoon pickup was in order, so we stopped at Parc for a little French goodness. Iced coffee, roasted beet salad and creme brulee.

We finished the night at our favorite seafood restaurant in Hershey, Devon. And as good as it was, it was our least favorite of the day. Which...says a lot. Here are a few snaps from the day taken by my new camera!

Here's to a new year! My next birthday, I will be a mother of 2. Wow.

17 months

Rue.

You are 17 months.

And so far summer is amazeballs.

You are so fun.

Water is your best bud, as can be clearly seen in the picture above.

Last week I took you to a 'splash pad' and you were in heaven.

You talk gibberish all the time, and more and more we can hear clear words starting to form.

"UP"

"Apple"

You even said High Chair yesterday...of course it wasn't super obvious but I heard the effort!

We have nicknamed you Caption Destructo because, well, as the name implies, you love to destroy. Throwing things down the stairs is your favorite activity as of late.

You are still my little shadow, following me around the house. It's cute and annoying. But I am choosing to focus on the cute ;)

You love puppies and kitties and motorcycles and trucks. And sidewalk chalk.

Enough gushing for one day, but I just want you to know, we love you A LOT. And we like you too. I think we'll keep you.

xo, Mama

baby kisses are caffeine

12 weeks & 6 days preggs. Feeling good. But on this particular day I'm tired & lazy. Sitting on the couch all morning, watching Sesame Street, Million Dollar Decorators, the Food Network, and What Not To Wear. No playing energy, whatsoever. Out of the blue Rue climbs onto the couch and kisses me on the lips. And then again. And then again. About 12 kisses later, I am a happy teary mess. And surprisingly full of energy. I was in a playing mood.

Kisses in the morning are SO much better than even the best cup of coffee.

It is possible to pause this moment and hang on to it forever?