Monday February 8th: I was 41 weeks and 2 days post due. I was certainly ready to not be pregnant any longer. I was aching to hold my babe! At my check up that afternoon with my midwife I asked what natural remedies we could use to ‘get this show on the road!’ Sarah, my amazing midwife, was not as eager to get things going as I was and figured he needed ‘more baking.’ She said ‘we can pull out the ‘big guns’ [ie, castor oil, sweeping your membranes] on Friday if you haven’t gone into labor yet’. But she changed her tune after taking my blood pressure. It had suddenly spiked and she was concerned about preeclampsia [of course, it could’ve been due to all the crap food I ate at the Superbowl party the night before, but there was no way to tell] An exam revealed that my cervix was thin and soft, and 2 cm dilated. She suggested sweeping my membranes to get things going. She wanted him to be born ASAP! I was thinking Hallelujah!
On my 30 min drive home I began having contractions about 6 minutes apart. It was extremely difficult to drive as all I wanted to do was close my eyes and relax. Not a good idea with tractor trailers all around. I called my husband, but he wasn’t answering. Thanks babe, great time to not answer! I arrived safely home, and a few minutes later Chris arrived. “Good news, we’re in early labor!”
My parents had invited us to join them and a few mutual friends for a dinner party. Chris and I knew that we had a long night ahead of us, so we figured eating some food and seeing a few friends would be good for both of us. My parents live right around the corner so we enjoyed walking over to their house. When we arrived everyone was anxious to hear about the checkup. They beamed when we told them that labor was beginning. We celebrated our coming baby with a ‘pre-birthday’ party.
After an hour, we said goodbye and walked home. Eager to stay preoccupied during the early labor stage we played Wii bowling for about 2 hours. I was bouncing on my yoga ball and between contractions was getting strikes left and right. Around 9 pm Chris called our midwife Sarah to let her know that we were in early labor and would call again when we needed her. By 11 Chris was tried and fell asleep. I tried to sleep sitting up in bed, because when I laid down my back and hips hurt tremendously. So I didn’t have any luck sleeping. I was walking, pelvic rocking and swaying, but when a contraction came on it felt like my hips and thighs were being torn to shreds with a lawn mower. I was not expecting the pain to be so epic. The thing that helped the most was bearing down and squatting. I would hold onto the bathroom sink, the tub, the couch or the counter top. I was starting to cry and panic a little bit…I thought if this pain got worse I might not be able to handle it. At 1 am I woke up Chris and suggested he call Sarah. Right after that I got so nauseous I vomited everything till I dry heaved. I heard that was normal so I didn’t freak out. Contractions were coming about every 5 minutes at this point. I was so happy to see Sarah’s face, and a quick checked revealed I was 4 cm. Not huge progress, but progress none the less. My mom arrived at 6 am, looking fresh and glamorous and was bubbling “Hello! We’re gonna have a baby today” And I was moaning like a cow. She quickly got the picture that this was pretty serious business.
8 am I get in the birthing pool. I labored there for 6 hours. According to my husband (I had lost all sense of time) I progressed about 1 cm every two hours. Moaning, grunting, changing positions was how I got through the hours. I needed constant counter pressure on my back and my hips. My husband was an angel. He worked really hard to help keep me comfortable. If he was gone during a contraction I had to tell myself ‘You can do this alone. You CAN.’ There was one point that I said, ‘OK, I need this to be done soon. I need to be able to push.’
By 2 pm I had dilated to 9 cm, but there was a persistent interior cervical lip that would not move past his head. Sarah tried to push it out of the way during a few contractions. Having someone’s hand up in your vagina during a contraction hurts like hell. She suggested I tried to bear down a little and push to see if that would move it out of the way, which didn’t work and didn’t feel good. I wasn’t ready yet. Then came transition. I whimpered ‘Ok. I’m done. I want to run away. I want to go to Paris with my mom. I want to go shopping, and drink wine and eat cheese, and sip coffee and eat a croissant. I’m done.’ Sarah replied, ‘awww, you want a vacation with Chris?’ And I said ‘Nooo. I didn’t say THAT. I want to go with my MOM.’ My mom said, ‘If she goes to Paris with Chris THIS {baby} will happen again!’ We all laughed. It was perfect comic relief.
After 45 minutes of no luck with the cervical lip, Sarah suggested getting out of the water and pushing on the birth stool. I was 9.5 cm. With a few pushes, I was fully dilated.
Sarah and her assistant Angela pushed in my perineum with warm rags and told me to push with everything I had. So I did. And I roared. And Grunted. And made extremely sexual noises. And screamed. And then between contractions I feel asleep, hardcore, for like 2 mins. Then I threw up some more. I felt like a lion when pushing, and a lamb when it was over. I was weak and exhausted, and yet had so much adrenaline when pushing. Sarah showed me his head in the mirror, we could only see a little bit. More pushing. It felt like I was being ripped in two. There’s now other way to describe it. Finally the crown of his head was about half way out. When she showed me with a mirror again, this time my body took over with out my brain being involved, and I began shaking and groaning. It was so guttural, instinctual and powerful it was frightening. I could feel myself tearing. Sarah told me to back off and to stop pushing. ‘Stop pushing?!’ After pushing with everything inside of, NOT PUSHING was the HARDEST thing I’ve ever done in my life. I told her I was trying to stop but I couldn’t. She told me to breath hard in her face. While I did that I was thinking ‘OMG, my throw up breath must be soooooo awful. I’m sorry sarah!!’ She told me just ‘let the pressure be there, and just let his head hang there. Just let him slide out. Holy crap…………It was music to my ears when she said, ‘his eyes are out. His hose is out…..his cheeks are out… his lips are out! His head is out!’ The next thing I knew he had slid completely out and they placed him on my chest. Chris and I began balling as I held our son. I kissed his bloody head. I welcomed him to his house, told him I was his mama. So much love welled up inside of me. I was laughing. Shocked. In awe. Amazed. Relieved. Blissed out. It was incredible. 24 hours total, 16 hours of hard labor. One hour and 15 minutes of pushing. My little Ruehl Grayson arrived 7 lbs, 8 oz. 21.5 inches long.
In a nutshell, it was the most thrilling, beautiful and intense moment of my life. 2 weeks later and I’ve already forgotten the intensity of the pain. I think it is woman’s fatal flaw to forget the pain. It wasn’t quick, and wasn’t easy, but it was rewarding! Someone asked me ‘so now that you’ve done it naturally, next time are you going to get the epidural??’ I laughed. ‘No way. Never. I’m a home birthing mama and love it that way.’
The end… [and just the beginning]
