confessions of a pregnant woman, pt III

1. It has begun. The wearing of the dreaded maternity jeans has begun. [they are so stinkin comfortable, might I add. Still a tad ugly, but at this point, comfort is crucial]

2. 24 weeks tomorrow, and every day has been lovelier than the last. [if you would like me to pray for your pregnancy, I offer prayers for a nominal fee. kidding.]

3. I CAN'T BELIEVE THERE'S ONLY 4 months LEFT. HOLY S@&#. [I'm trying to control my tongue around the babe, but lucky for me he can't read yet.]

4. Baby Room Demo has commenced. Walls are being patched and repainted. Yippee!

5. um. ? [I lose my train of thought sometimes.....]

6. name searching...whittling down the options. I think we'll keep it a surprise once we choose!

7. After I birth brink jr, I'm seriously considering taking midwifery classes...

8. some days I feel really sexy, and some days more whale-esque. On the former days I smile. On the latter I try not to cry as I get dressed. On those days every article of clothing is sprawled on the bed or floor.

9. He seems so happy in there, rolling around. [let's hope he isn't content to over-extend his welcome to my uterus. Prince Brink, this is your mother typing. If you stay in there till 42 weeks, you're grounded.

10. I'm gonna go roast a chicken and enjoy overheating the house, and over-eating my own house.It's fall and I'm pregnant. What else is there do? :)


CIAO LOVES!

I am woman, hear me roar.

TLC's a 'Baby Story' is improperly named.
It should be call TLC's 'A documentation of creepy hospital's, painful deliveries, and OB's who are idiots Story' It doesn't make me want to have baby, on the contrary, it scares me. Am I alone in this??

Instead I am surrounding myself with good thoughts, words, books and stories. At this point, I am SO inspired to deliver, in a healthy physiological natural way. I am believing for the BEST. So many people tell me I'm 'so brave' and they could 'never do what I'm doing'. But really that just makes me think, WHY ARE THEY DOUBTING THEMSELVES? Why not believe in yourself? Maybe I've just read too much, but I am totally confident in my ability as a woman, as a creation of God, to deliver this baby in a happy, calm, safe enviroment. I am woman hear me roar!
I shoudn't let negative assumptions of delivery dictate my feelings and cause me to fear. I will just let what happens naturally...It may be better, OR WORSE than I'm expecting. But it's best to assume, the best. I am believing for a supernatural birth. I may sound foolish to you, but for me it's easier to believe for the best and take what I get. To use my faith in a way that makes sense. Why believe for 'less pain' or 'better than average' when faith is intended to be used for the impossible??? I DO think that a pain-free quick delivery is impossible...that's why we're believing for the supernatural to kick in. It doesn't make sense to the mind, but that's how God works.

Ahhh. That makes me feel so much better. I am woman, hear me roar. I can and will do this!

23 weeks

23 weeks down, 17 to go.

time is flying and crawling.

due date: jan 27th.

four months from today.

!!!

itching to move.

so there's a house.
that I want.
that Chris wants too.
it's gorgeous.
and white.
french style.
with a gorgeous back yard.
and a garage.
and a workshop.
and a patio.
[and a high price tag]


it's not that I dont LOVE my little starter house...the one that we worked on endless every night and weekend and free moment, and non-free moment. The one we bled for, and cried for. And sweat for, and put lots and lots of hard earned money into. I LOVE IT. But...we live on the edge of the ghetto. Not in it, but it's all around. Before the bump, I didn't mind, but now that this little life is ours to care for, my maternal instincts are up the wazoo and I want a safe haven to raise the prince in.


So...it's not that I don't LOVE our house...it's just.....I dont want to live in a neighborhood where rap music blares and we keep a bat by the front door in the umbrella stand.

100th post.

[i'm going to ignore my feelings of lameness, as it took me 2 years to hit 100 posts. eeesh. slap on my infrequent blogger wrist.]


Happy 100 posts to me! Today I'm sharing with you the books I'm currently reading, have read and plan to read. I only have 4.5 months till my bun is finished cooking, so I must take advantage of all this quiet free time I have!!

I am currently reading Baby Wise & Pushed. So far Pushed is awesome.........I'm not totally digging Baby Wise though.

Next on my reading list is Ina May's Guide & Your Best Birth. I've heard both are incredible.

Two others I've already read and enjoyed are Supernatural Childbirth and The Bradley Method.

The first is a liiiitle cheesy, but contains some great insight and scriptures. I really did not like the Dr. Bradley's writing style...AT ALL. I like his method though, so we are thinking of taking the birthing classes soon.

I've devoured a few others, inluding A Thinking Woman's Guide to Childbirth. That was an eye opener....especially as it was the first book I read. Pretty influential to me.

And there you have it. If you have any other suggestions, please throw them my way.

Love, and happy posting!

Y.

walkin' on sunshine

the last few days of summer linger on, and I'm savoring every inch of it. I've never cherished a summer so much in my adult life! Lazy evenings with my husband, and being pregnant have made this such a special summer for me.

knowing that this time next year I'll have a little crawler on my hands makes me smile! Another reason so savor this last season is that it will be my last with Chris...with just the two of us. So goodbye sweet summer. I will savor fall with every ounce of my being and enjoy the snowfall and being cooped up in my house. I will NOT complain that I have nothing fun to do. I will enjoy it all.

my belly grows every day and my little boy moves, kicks and nudges me throughout the day. I am the happiest pregnant person alive!!

what else is on my mind? the unknown of it all. yet, oddly I have no fear, no anxiety. Which if you know me, is SO unlike me. I love to know what's next around the bend, and how to anticipate it. But i feel like having a child is so unknown. In a moment's notice my life will change. In just a blink of an eye I will begin loving another person more than my own life....

My friend katie said that having kids is like watching your heart run around on the outside of your body. Watch out world...I'm growing up.

The Little Prince

oh.my.word.

I'M HAVING A LITTLE BOY!!! And let me tell you, we were so stunned. All three of us thought without a doubt, girl. It's in the bag. I even disregarded the midwife's comment about not performing circumcisions...I thought, oh no worries there. But, we were wrong. Happily wrong.

You couldn't find a disappointed face in the room. We were all smiles. [seems to be a trend...]

The ultrasound was beautiful. I could've watched him move for hours. The 3D images of our son amazed me. He's already SO CUTE!! Ahh! He was a-movin' and a-groovin', and I kept laughing, which btw, doesn't help the technician get a clear shot. But how could I NOT laugh when he was flexing his muscle at us? He was saying 'look dad! look at me! I'm strong too!' He already has his dad's chin, and my nose. Wow.

I couldn't fall asleep last night as my mind was a flurry! Everything is different now. I was picturing flowers, and dresses...and lambs, but not anymore! Bring on the Forts. Dirt. Bugs. Hammers. Water balloons. Tents. Swords. Tree-houses.Trains. Trucks. Superman capes. Legos.

It's actually not a far stretch from my own childhood. Don't get me wrong, I loved my dress-up clothes, Barbies, and Princesses just like any other girl, but growing up without silbings and only boy cousins, I was kind of outnumbered in the girly department. I became a pro at dirt, wrestling, GI Joe fight scenes, jumping off roofs, and playing Ninjas. I had a permanant tooth knocked out during a sword fight with a PCV pipe. Not so fun. We had contests to see who could climb the OUTSIDE of the house the longest, as well as the who could climb on the furniture on the Inside with out touching the carpet. We were monkeys...houligans at best. But it was FUN.

So maybe I'm not clueless as to how to raise a boy...well except for the whole potty training penis part. Thank God I have some time before that comes.

There's a party in my belly! and it has a little peepee. heehee.

he/she

Today is THE day.
At 6:30, Baby Brink, Me, Chris and my Mom [glam-ma CoCo] are going to get the long awaited gender ultrasound. What will baby be? A hamburger, or hotdog? Innie, or outie? Princess or Prince? A mini-me, or mini-Chris??

I AM ALLLLLLL SMILES. ear to ear. grins. laughs.

It's currently 12:03 and I have successfully wasted the morning away...and will continue to find things to do to waste more time until 6:30...facebook, blogger, checking my puny bank account, facebook, more blogger, watching Barefoot Contessa & What Not to Wear.... Something like that.


In other FANTASIC HAPPY WONDERFUL news: we have found our midwife!!! PTL and halle-stinkin-lujah!

So ladies and gents, cast your votes and place your bets. Have any guesses on the gender of Baby Brink?

to be continued....

I'm all smiles

i gotta admit...

i L.O.V.E. feeling my baby kick.

and wiggle. and turn. and see my skin move.

i makes my heart go all jingle jangle wacka-doodle spazoid!

big.happy.sigh.

To cloth....or not to cloth....

that is the question of the day. of the week. of this pregnancy.

my first reaction to cloth diapers for my kid: "hell. to. the. no. I'm going to have enough on my hands with a newborn, feeding, not sleeping, trying to feed myself and husband....cleaning house will be out the window in a flash. How will I have time to wash diapers daily???"

and then I read 'Pacing the Panic Room's post on cloth diapers. And I said: Oh crap. I knew diapers were a environmentally unfriendly item, but 'at the end of 3 years of using nothing but disposables, that messy mound would weigh as much as an elephant driving a town car' is how 'PtPR' describes it.

BAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

When I first suggested this idea to my husband his nose curled up too, but when I told him it would save us hundreds of dollars per year...he heard my tune. I am VERY open to the ways of the cloth, however I need to some guidance! Some feedback! Tips and suggestions from you beautiful mammas and pappas out there who have tried and true and found your favorite cloth diapers!!! Feel free to email me at yana@riverlution.net if you prefer.

So, 'PtPR' has a random drawing to win some (one size!) FuzziBunz cloth diapers and I'm hoping I'm the lucky winner. Cross your fingers!!!

Alright loves... ta ta!

XO, Y

flashlight & fire art

our friend mike invited us to go 'light tagging' with him under a bridge in downtown.
thanks to a slow shutter, we captured these. who knew flashlights and flaming steel wool could be so awesome?

chris kissing my baby belly:

my Chihuly inspired piece:

here's where we got competitive. May I introduce Darth Vadar:

Pac-man:

And my MJ 'thriller' pose:

tulips:

week 19

...it's amazing to me that I am nearly halfway there. I have so much more to go/grow! ;)

confessions of a pregnant woman, pt. 2

1. all I think about is baby.
2. I am half-way there next week! 20 weeks.
3. eeeeee!
4. I grin and squeal often.
5. baby is movin and a groovin, especially when dad plays guitar.
6. I cry at nearly every happy/sappy thing on tv.
7. I've been Soooooooooooo enjoying this pregnancy. Sometimes I think 'why does anyone think this is so hard? It's amazing!'
8. I'm LOVING the second trimester! no more naps!
9. I AM frustrated that my jeans are getting really tight, but I am avoiding the maternity jeans I bought... they scare me!
10. hahahaha. I laugh a lot. I want my baby to be really familiar with my laughter!

I'm a steel trap. Don't get me down!

Chris and I have decided to have a home birth. It was pretty much decided all along, but we had to find a midwife, and I think we've found our woman!
This topic of 'homebirth' has stirred up alllllllllllllllllllllllll kinds of reactions from people. Some good, mostly bad. [such as the following:]
"WHAT?!!? But that's so dangerous."
"Homebirth's are illegal"
"Well....You don't know any better!!"
"I love my epidural. Why would you choose pain???."

People act like I'm a deranged one legged super hero who is trying to save the world with sunshine. It's discouraging and unnerving, and more aggravating than Rachel Ray's voice. Grrrrrrr. Some reactions are good, but people few and far between have actually been encouraging [and for those of you that have, I salute you!!] So, somewhere, somehow I need to muster up enough balls to be a steel trap of confidence and attitude about the healthy, wonderful and exciting choice my husband and I have made together. I have read so many books already that promote home births, and at times that's all I have to keep me going.

If any of you have good stories/encouragements/book suggestions to encourage the homebirthing tiger in me, please pass them on! And if you don't have anything nice to say, than keep yo negative nancy opinions to yourself. I just dont need em! :)

I just needed to rant. There. thanks. i feel better.

Tomorrow I take my 19 week belly pics...hope to get em up soon!

xoxoxoxox

when it rains...

...it pours in my life. Last week after the biopsy I had 4 house guests (mostly unexpected) & a 7 month old stay over. then monday I got a horrible respiratory infection thing and thoughts of a family of phlegm dancing in my lungs. awesome. no time, hence the lack of blogging.

but i have great news!! : the fibroadenoma in my breast is benign! Healthy boobs are happy boobs. the procedure was simple and the doctor was very nice. Nice doctor, rare? i think yes.

ANDDD I felt the baby moving for the first time! It was so exciting! My heart was racing.
On the 14th of sept we have a meeting with a midwife (woohoo!) and on the 15th...we find out the gender! Exciting weeks ahead!!

Annnnndddddddddd today I am packing for our camping trip this weekend with our favorite adopted family. Canoeing, biking, smoreing, campfiring, relaxing, and a phone free weekend here I come!

love to you all. have a blissful weekend.

ciao! yamba

feel your ta-ta's!

hey doves, uber quick post today:

Yesterday during my routine prenatal visit, I showed the [male.]OB a lump on my breast that has developed this last month. It's quite hard and painful. So after few people felt me up, and an ultrasound, we found that it is a cyst. I am certain that it is benign, however a biopsy has been scheduled for tomorrow [th] afternoon. blah.

I feel like a loaded gun. I am so chock full of emtions that I could just go off... laughing and crying in the same breath. Please pray for me, or if you don't believe in prayer, send me your quasi-good-feeling-organic-yoga vibes. I need it very much. [i get results on friday]


okie. big big love to you all. and remember: feel your ta-ta's! it's important.

warm fuzzies

'From the moment I heard my first love story
I began to look for you
Not knowing how foolish that was
Great lovers don’t finally meet
They are born into eachother all along'

-Rumi

A stranger on a plane shared that Rumi poem with me a few years ago, and it changed me.

I'll never forget that lovely day.

R.I.P

fyi, there was a death in the family recently.
fuego, my hand me down fish died Sunday morning.
he popped. quite literally.

sigh.

he asked me to not take his picture in his last days....he was looking kind of phishy.

the end.

new baby in town

Welcome to life EVA!
My beautiful friend Sam gave birth to her first daughter Eva on July 30th, with a short and easy delivery of only 2 hours. She is the hero of my life right now. Read her beautiful birth story on her blog Baby Moist

on my end of things, blogging has been a little slow because not only have I been busy sleeping, but all that's on my mind is baby Brink. I don't want to overwhelm you readers with non-stop- all-things-baby....but what can I say?? I'm excited!! It's all I think about and pretty much all I feel like writing about. Hope you don't mind. If you do, mmmm get used to it. Once my little joy bundle gets here it will be non stop pictures, breastfeeding updates, questions and 'they slept a 4 hour stretch' happies.

ok lovies. ciao.

confessions of a pregnant woman

Greetings from the tail end of the first trimester-ebbing one week into the second trim. I'm still waiting for the infamous and illustrious energy and oompf that is supposed to accompany it.

This may be brief, but I have many confessions.

• Firstly I haven't been blogging because, I've been sleeping. Quite frankly, I'd rather be sleeping than do pretty much anything. However, I HAVE managed to clean, do laundry, and cook a decent meal for my husband. It just involves lots of naps, sitting down and couching.

• I am starting to panic a bit. Like the 'I have aboslolutely NO IDEA how to take care of a baby' and then my wise husband reminds me that 'no first time mothers have any real idea of what to do....but they learn.' Ah thank you God for giving me a wise man.

• I begin to hyperventilate when I think of how much crap there is in the basement that needs to be sorted through and chucked out. Can I accomplish that while sleep walking??

• All our houseguests and the insanity-of-too-much-activity-jammed-packed-into-two-weeks has finally passed, but I'm still exhausted even after a weekend of nothingness. We've sworn off house guests forever (or until my best friend Kate visits in September) That's what happens when I make my guest room up so cute. People overvisit! lol

• I've been thinking SO much about the birth. Where we want it, who will be here... it will be such a precious time in our lives and I want to plan it well.

• 15 week belly pics were taken today, so I'll post them soon. I didn't like my 14 week, which is why I didn't show em!

ok doves, time for me to ready dinner. love to you all.

xx, Yana