17 months

Rue.

You are 17 months.

And so far summer is amazeballs.

You are so fun.

Water is your best bud, as can be clearly seen in the picture above.

Last week I took you to a 'splash pad' and you were in heaven.

You talk gibberish all the time, and more and more we can hear clear words starting to form.

"UP"

"Apple"

You even said High Chair yesterday...of course it wasn't super obvious but I heard the effort!

We have nicknamed you Caption Destructo because, well, as the name implies, you love to destroy. Throwing things down the stairs is your favorite activity as of late.

You are still my little shadow, following me around the house. It's cute and annoying. But I am choosing to focus on the cute ;)

You love puppies and kitties and motorcycles and trucks. And sidewalk chalk.

Enough gushing for one day, but I just want you to know, we love you A LOT. And we like you too. I think we'll keep you.

xo, Mama

baby kisses are caffeine

12 weeks & 6 days preggs. Feeling good. But on this particular day I'm tired & lazy. Sitting on the couch all morning, watching Sesame Street, Million Dollar Decorators, the Food Network, and What Not To Wear. No playing energy, whatsoever. Out of the blue Rue climbs onto the couch and kisses me on the lips. And then again. And then again. About 12 kisses later, I am a happy teary mess. And surprisingly full of energy. I was in a playing mood.

Kisses in the morning are SO much better than even the best cup of coffee.

It is possible to pause this moment and hang on to it forever?

10 weeks preggs

We saw Baby #2!

Happy strong heartbeat.

Baby is in the right place.

Legs kicking, arms swimming.

Everything looks perfect.

Relief.

Peace.

Happiness, schmeared all over my heart. Mmm, schmear. Now, I want a bagel with cream cheese. Oh food. I love you.

Grand debut/ETA: January 22, 2012 [one week sooner than I calculated. Awesome!] Grow baby grow! See you in 30 weeks!

Anniversary #3.

Did I seriously miss blogging about my 3rd anniversary? On June 8th? As in 2 weeks ago? Yes, yes I did. Ah, well. Baby news certainly trumps all other news. Regardless of my tardiness, that doesn't change the fact that I'm a wife who is still 'ooh la la' in love with my husband and that deserves a post, late or not.

So here it is.

3 years baby! woo! We have seen a LOT of life in three years. A kid, one in the making, a major renovation, a new job....that's just the major stuff. There have been many hurdles in between.

But I love you more than I can say and I guarantee I could never find a better match, friend, confidant, father, lover in the world. You are my supreme. My crème de la crème. My joyeux sur le dessus.

Cheers to the next 3. And the next 30. And maybe the 30 after that. That would make us 66 years married and ........ almost 90. Sounds good to me.

love you babe.

xo

not sure what to title this one...

The news of baby #2 is settling deep into my heart, and psyche. I am feeling it's great joy.

The knowledge that I am going to bring another human into the world is so huge. Even though baby is only the size of a raspberry and the weight of a paperclip, I know that baby's personality and habits and character are already forming. With each day that passes, I know there is a big countdown, ticking, down down down the days until our little blob of a baby will arrive and change our lives forever. I like that I have less fear than I did with Rue. There was just so much unknown then. And true, while I don't know how I will handle two babies, I am confident that I will do a great job and I will be a great mama even when I fail.

It's a beautiful season I am in. There is a rest and peace in this time. I am not anxious for number 2 to get here, but rather I am really enjoying my time with Rue.

On a less emotional/ethereal/dreamy note, pre-nesting is kicking in big. Changing around winter/summer/maternity clothes, purging, organizing closets, and cleaning the radiators with a toothbrush. You know, normal stuff. My belly is growing. First trimester sleepiness or rather, fatigue, is biting me hard. But no morning sickness so no complaints here. I am feeling better than I did though- the first 3 weeks were very painful. I didn't know subsequent pregnancies could be so painful and uncomfortable. Thank goodness it's over.

Friday is our first ultrasound. We will get to hear a swoosh-swoosh heartbeat and figure out a due date. I am eager to find out that baby is healthy and growing in the proper place. The pain had me worried it was Ectopic. But I'm sure everything is A-OK.

Thanks for the congratulations and well wishes. We are so excited!

love, Y

number 2.

There was no time for deciding 'to try, or not to try'. No time to plan for a hot date night, put on my bedroom eyes and get it on till the break of dawn.

[ha! it rhymed. I had to.] Nope, no time for me to think I held the reigns on this one. When I wrote my 'itchy-itch' post, little did I know...

I was already.

I am currently.

Pregnant.

!!!

6 weeks and a few days.

If you could only see my face! It's pretty much ONE BIG PERMA GRIN. Ya'll, I'm sooooo happy.

I am so ready for this next phase. For the new life growing in my belly! For the baby brother or baby sister that Rue is going to love. [really, he looooves babies] For the bump...which is already popping out. Say WHAT!?

So...yeah. There it is folks. Fertile. Womb fruit. Preggo. Gahh!!! :)

xo, Yana

15 months

My little sweetness.

You are 15 1/2 months now.

I hate it when I am late for 'month' posts...I feel as though someday you will read this blog and notice that I was usually a week or so late and you're gonna call me on it. Well, ya know what? I was busy cleaning your butt, picking boogers out of your hair, and stepping on cheerios.

I have grown to love those things.

You know what else I love?

You.

Everything about you. Your 8 teeth.

The sweet days, I love.

The days you drive me insane, I love.

My ABSOLUTE favorite part of 15 months:

YOU PUT YOURSELF TO BED.

You get tired, rub your eyes, walk upstairs and grab the bars of your crib. Then you shout MAMA! and you plead with these little pleading eyes....as if to say PUT ME IN and LET ME SLEEP !!!

Can I have it any easier?? You may not sleep long at all...but at least the getting there is good.

You LOVE your belly button. You have a hard time finding it because your potbelly is so big, but you know it's there and you try to lift your stomach up so you can see it. You like my belly button too, which is only cute when we are at home, because you like to pull my shirt up.

You have started to like food again, which is HALLELUJAH chorus awesome. When I ask you 'is that good?' you don't say 'mmm' instead your eyes get really wide and you nod your head slowly up and down. You are certainly very expressive.

The last few months have [in general] been so amazing, fun, & fulfilling. So much so, that daddy and I are getting our heart strings pulled and the thought of making another one just like you [in general] makes us smile.

I love you Rumi.

xo, mama

itchy itch

I wrote this post a week ago and it's been sitting as a draft. Waiting. Waiting for me to hit publish. After a week of processing and pondering aaand....more processing, I'm ready to hit publish.

So...here goes.

I am getting the baby itch.

I see pregnant bellies and my heart swells a bit. In the card section buying a 'congratulations on your baby boy' for my cousin and her son Luca I got a little misty eyed. Then I got a smile and a big-big-oh so big lump in my throat. I told my husband and he said 'well... you are already at a better place than the first time. Cause we weren't ready at all then. See how I spun that for you?'

So.

I don't know what this means exactly! I don't know if this means: let this little seed/idea simmer and culminate and grow and take over our hearts and if we get pregnant, celebrate? Or...should we decide 'let's make a baby' and put on my bedroom eyes and get husband to jump on me and give me everything he's got before we have a chance to change our minds? Haha. [I hope that made him blush]

I'm curious friends, what did you do, if I may ask? Did you decide to try? Or just let the chips fall where they may? Did you try for a specific gender?

.

.

.

Well, regardless, I'm just glad I'm finally at this place. Those of you who have been around HGBB for the last year or so can vouch that I never thought this day would come. And for my real life friends who I haven't told yet...well, now you know!

Big heart swells, xo.

Y

my mom is rad

Feed The Poor, Feel The Bliss! from Georgian Banov on Vimeo.

My mom is so rad. Besides being a great mother to me, she is inspiring in so many ways, to many people. She is an artist, ordained minister of the Gospel, entrepreneur, business owner, world traveler, shopper extraordinare, and not to mention she's hilarious. But one thing that she has been doing lately just blows my mind. She is a garbage dump treasurer. And the 'treasures' aren't material, the treasures are people. She spends her time and money going to garbage dumps around the world and she finds diamonds in the rough. She brings them hugs, joy, love, food, clothes and Jesus.

She is my hero. Watch this video and you will understand why.

Happy Mother's Day!

the little [big] things.

Last week an epic thunderstorm blew into town. Something about the crazy wind and thunder and lighting rolling in the distance got me thinking, got my heart churning. Standing on the balcony next to Chris I blurted out:

'why is it so hard to live in the NOW of life??'

Like most people, I spend a lot much time thinking about the future. About our next house. The next baby. The next horizon. Thoughts like 'when that one thing comes through...when that one thing changes...when those pieces to fall into place.' Dreaming is crucial, of course. Without dreams we would be hopeless. But dream too much and you lose sight of now. Of what's your reality. So I question, why can't I just live in the 'now' and be satisfied? I propose that maybe the day-to-day, the ins and outs of daily life can be mundane. Tunnel vision of sorts. But I don't want to wake up in 10 years and realize my babies turned into kids while I was sleep walking.

Truly, I want to embrace and savor this life that I HAVE, not the life I want. The life that is staring me in the face, daring me to enjoy the little things and not just the grand moments. The life that is messy and crazy and beautiful and challenging.

Rue woke up at 12:30 [thank you tooth #8] and at first I was in a mumble-groan-gripe-exhausted-bad mood and tried to get him back to sleep with no avail. So, I picked him up, and for the next hour or so, I snuggled him in the rocking chair and ran my fingers through his hair. I stroked his little cheeks and stared into the deep darkness of his eyes. He stared right back, and talked to me, in his sweet little mumbo jumbo jibberish language. He rubbed my arm. And then one moment he cupped my cheek so gently and just held my face in his hand. My heart exploded into a million pieces and I couldn't find a trace of bitterness that I was losing sleep and that I would probably be useless the next day. I was enjoying and savoring and soaking up every second of our little nighttime rendezvous.

Today, I am certainly tired, but ohhh so satisfied. I enjoyed a little [big] thing.

success

As a mom, life is constant. One big clean up, following around a giant moving tornado of giggles and messes and whines and spills. Some days I have achieved to-do list 'success' : 4 loads of laundry, made a scrumptious meal, got my toddler napping & eating, gone to the bathroom in peace, bought groceries and done it all in a cool, calm & collected manner. Other days I don't get any thing 'done' except manage to stay in my pj's all day and be available to hug my toddler as often or as little as he wants. But even on those days I know I succeeded because I have LOVED him. 'Success' is subjective and it's definition is exclusive to your set of values, but as the quote below describes, it's all about the little things, and people matter most.

~ To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

the [belated] one year old gift

When Ruehl's first birthday was nearing, I began thinking about birthday gifts.

What do you buy for a one year old? More noisy toys to fill up the box? More clothes to dirty? Which, we bought both. But I kept thinking there has to be something more substantial to buy him, more meaningful, more special! Like a keepsake.

And then an idea bloomed in my heart: An art collection. Buy him one piece for every birthday and then when he is all grown up he will have a beautiful collection of one of a kind art.

I've been browsing Esty for the past 4 months looking for the perfect [and not $$$] piece to buy for his [belated] birthday gift, and I finally found it! A Toronto based Esty artist Siiso creates beautiful oil paintings full of vibrant colors and shapes. Her stuff totally floors me and I am so glad that she sells high quality Giclee prints of her work starting at $20. Squee!

This is my favorite for Rue:

And I'm loving this for my room:

Aren't they beautiful? Check out her Etsy to see more beautiful work.

Love, Y

the GREATEST

I love finding good things! Things that works, that you can rely on. Like a really great recipe, or a cleaner...you name it. I am going to share with you some of my favorite 'greatest' things!

The Greatest Roasted Chicken

It's called 'Engagement Chicken' because it's so good that when you make it for your boyfriend, he will propose soon after! It's a Barefoot Contessa classic. So simple. Seriously it's the best roasted chicken I've ever had and/or made. I can always count on it, always rely on it being amazing every.single.time. The chicken is salty and crispy, the onions are slightly burned on the edges. And the pan juices are blow your mind delish. My tweaks: when I don't have wine [or am to lazy to make the sauce, or would rather drink the wine] I just skip it completely and you don't even miss it. Pair with some lovely Basmati and roasted Asparagus and you have yourself a fancy week night meal.

The Greatest Banana Bread

I have searched HIGH and low for the perfect banana bread recipe and by George, I think I've got it. I did tweak it a bit: I halved the sugar to 1/2 cup [and it's still sweet enough] & added a generous teaspoon of lemon zest. The lemon added that perfect lightness and tang. If you are feeling super saucy you can add a crumble on top [which I do every time but that's besides the point] of butter and brown sugar.

The Greatest Water Bottle

I bought Rue a Camelbak and we have used it every day since. It's so great because it doesn't leak, it's large enough for us both to use it and it's kid friendly.

The Greatest Stainless Steel Cleaner

Bar Keeper's Friend. Stuff is amaze-balls. This cleaner is to stainless steel what Chuck Norris is to your face. Roundhouse kick dunzo! It also cleans sinks, ovens [which came in handy after our bacon grease oven fire a few weekends ago] tubs etc.

The Greatest Stain Remover

The Magic Eraser. I was very skeptical at first, but now I'm a believer. I had some wicked stains in my claw foot tub that I couldn't remove, not even with bleach. Magic Eraser got 'em out. It's scary. Who knows what the heck is IN that thing and how BAD it is for the environment, but I'll take another box please.

The Greatest Flour

I bake as often as my skinny jeans allow. Bread, muffins, pancakes & pizza taste best with all purpose white flour, but dohhhh! Not so good for the body. Which lead me to this: King Arthur Flour. It's an all natural, unbleached white whole wheat flour that tastes almost as good at the white stuff. It has a good texture and isn't too grainy. Bakes great.

And there you have it. Some of my favorite 'greatest' things. Dang, too bad a girl can't get endorsements, 'cause I'd be rollin' in the deep by now. Got any favorites you could share?

xo, Y

14 months

'look Ma, no hands!'

My sweet Rue!

I am getting used to the word 'Toddler'.

I guess that's because you've grown so much since your birthday.

You have 4.5 teeth now [the .5 part is a gem of a story, to be shared later]

You love to climb the stairs....up and down, and up and down. I let you.

YOU LOVE DIRT. Getting it under your nails, in your diaper and your favorite...in your mouth. When we go into the backyard and you get really, really dirty, I make sure to strip you down before we go back inside. Then you run around in your diaper with a dirt-stache. It makes me laugh.

You still love to be naked, but you don't love food so much anymore. All the things you loved last week, now you loathe. Gotta admit I get very frustrated and feel helpless. I am sure there is a verse in the bible 'baby cannot live on Cheerios alone...' ?

New words: "waattzzzz zzaatt?" "shheeeze" "sshoooooooooze" "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh booyee"

Translation: What's that, Cheese, Shoes and OH BOY.

One new thing: you lay down on your belly as you play with toys. It's very little boyish, as I imagine someday you will play with army men or lego's in the same manner.

You and I had our first art time. It was so sweet. When I put the colored pencil in your hand and showed you how to mark the paper, you moved the pencil from your right and into the left and started drawing. Makes me think for sure you are a lefty. I hope it sticks!

Well, your naptime is almost over and I have plenty of things to do before you wake up. I love you so much little man!

xo, Mama

kick in le pants.

Today I woke up and thought 'I need a swift kick in the pants. I need to GET GOING! I need to seize the day. I need to juice! Exercise! I need to create art, and cook and clean and raise my son with joy. No one is going to hand me my creative energy on a silver platter! Hello!?'

After my mental pep talk I found this quote on Leigh's blog.

The advice I like to give young artists, or really anybody who’ll listen to me, is not to wait around for inspiration. Inspiration is for amateurs; the rest of us just show up and get to work. If you wait around for the clouds to part and a bolt of lightning to strike you in the brain, you are not going to make an awful lot of work. All the best ideas come out of the process; they come out of the work itself. Things occur to you. If you’re sitting around trying to dream up a great art idea, you can sit there a long time before anything happens. But if you just get to work, something will occur to you and something else will occur to you and somthing else that you reject will push you in another direction. Inspiration is absolutely unnecessary and somehow deceptive. You feel like you need this great idea before you can get down to work, and I find that’s almost never the case.”

- Chuck Close

Quote, Photo

Kick in le pants just got seriouz yo!

So if you needed a kick, I hope you got it. Now scram! Go make/do/be something productive and lovely and inspiring and wonderful. We all have it inside us, sometimes we just need someone to reach in and pull it out, even if that someone is yourself.

so much love, Y

Valuable lessons 101

1. RUN THE DISHWASHER DAILY. I have always thought that my frugal hand washing skills saves on water consumption. But, it doesn't. Google told me so. Look it up. Don't you believe everything Google says? Running my dishwasher daily keeps my kitchen clean. Which, keeps my man happy. Which, keeps me happy. Happy happy Brink Haus.

(thanks Samantha for that little life changing suggestion)

2. DON'T GO CLOTHES SHOPPING WITH A TODDLER. Or, when you must don't bother to try on clothes. If you leave him in the cart as you shop, he will writhe and contort his body around and reach the rack behind him and pull all the clothes off the hanger. Or, start screaming! If you bring the cart into the room, he might reach the door handle and open it up as you are trying on a bathing suit and 3 target employees see you in your underwear. OR....if you take him out of the cart (because you want to stop the screaming) he might just escape under the door and run away. More embarrassing underwear sightings. So, instead...simply pick your favorites, buy them all, bring 'em home and put on a sexy bra and do a fashion show for your husband. He'll love it and he'll let you keep them! Win!

3. ASSUME YOU WILL BE OUT LATER AND LONGER THAN YOU ANTICIPATE. Bring lots and lots of food and water for your growing munchkin's-bottomless-pit-belly. If you don't you WILL regret it. Avoid the screams. Avoid frantic stops to scary gas stations. Bring food. Lots.

4. ASSUME THE MENAGERIE OF CHEERIOS SCATTERED ON THE FLOOR ARE INDEED WET AND WILL FEEL GROSS IF YOU STEP ON THEM WITH BARE FEET. Clean up food particles promptly.

Do you have any good ideas/tips/lessons learned to share? I am sure there are a few moms with multiples that have some goodies!

xo, Y

favorite photos of late

we snuggle, every morning. it's tradition.

breakfast sweetness

baby model much?

At the park, spinning his favorite toy

just call me dirt boy

three 'snaggle' tooth grin.

bebe booty. can't get enough.

He's a classic boy: loves to be naked, and knows it's funny. He runs around laughing hysterically, wagging his little peepee

Le pout. So endearing.

Spring walk with Dad

Get away from the street Rue.

'Impressed with birthday balloons!

Unimpressed with mom's baby sitting strategy while shoveling: bundle him up so tight he can't move.

Playing with his John Deer tracker while naked. Like I said....classic BOY.

Bathtime

Swinging! Shrieks! Silly!

'weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!'

Stairmaster

up

Things are UP.

Feeling up.

Looking up.

Shaping up.

It's amazing how some sunshine, the arrival of Spring and a glorious weekend with my main squeeze erased the memories of a rotten week.

Baby is happy again, and I am feeling 1000x better. Correct me if I'm wrong, but 5 days stuck in a house with a whiny sick baby will drive anyone to the edge!? I just wanted to thank you friends for all your sweet comments, encouragement and love. You are the best!

xo, Y

confessions of a new mom with a toddler

Day 5 of being stuck at home.

Rue woke up monday with a snotty faucet nose and since then has been snotty and whiny-Mc-whinerton -sir-whines-a-lot.

I haven't wanted to go anywhere, because who likes to shop & go to Starbucks with a whiny baby? And who likes to take their sick baby to a playdate? Not me. I had been so strong all week, until last night:

When I had crushed my millionth cheerios, when I had found him sucking on a Method floor cleaner bottle [the lid was closed...whew.] when I had refolded the laundry 3 times because he loves to take things out of the basket, when he refused the food he normally loves, when I had listened to whining for 35 hours, when I had picked up poop with my bare hands thinking it was black beans from lunch [which, in theory it was] when the poop had trickled down his leg and up his back, when he peed on the floor waiting for me to slam dunk his poopy butt into the tub, when i found him turning on the gas burners, when he took all of his bottles/feeding paraphernalia out of his drawer and when he had taken all the books off the bookshelf for the 3rd time in one day. Thats when I lost it.

'I CAN'T FRIGGIN TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!! I'M DONE!'

Thankfully meltdown city was perfectly timed to Chris getting home. He arrived to a roaring wife, over cooked dinner, and a surprisingly happy son. Isn't that the irony, when your husband gets home your kids are on their best behavior and all of your desperate texts to your husband make you look like a crazy person?

In bed that night he asked me if I was ok. Fitting question, as I was crying.

No. I'm not ok. I'm feeling very trapped by the responsibility of a child. Of being a stay at home mom. Some days I just don't want to do it. Sometimes other moms and blogs who's lives look neat and organized and who have shiny happy kids that seem perfect and here I am wanting to run away. Yes, I'll have a side of guilt trip please, thank you. I'm struggling with the fact that my son is growing up and as much as I love it, I can't stop it. But I want to! Most of the time I want to savor every moment...but weeks like this make me say get me the hell out of 2011 and give me an 8 year old please! SURE...we had some sugar sweet melty heart moments when he would walk up to me and sit on my lap and lean back and look up at me and touch my face. And then sir whines a lot would think of something he didn't have and wanted and would start the whiny whines again. Old people say 'Enjoy every moment! Before you know they will be going to college!

I'm finding it difficult to balance the 'savoring' moments and the 'check please' moments.

Looking for perspective. If you have some please leave it after the beep...

{beeeeeep}

high/low

Rough week.

On the way to NJ for work training, Chris's Saab died.

He was towed to a little shop and the mechanic confirmed. Engine death.

And sadly it's not worth fixing.

So, we find ourselves sharing [closes eyes and shudders] one car.

That will last only so long; until:

A. I tire of driving to Chris & from work, aka getting out of sweats before noon.

B. Chris tires of the downgrade from his Sexy Saab Turbo to my Dented 97 Honda Civic aka 'Phoebe'.

Commence car dreaming...now. The Honda Pilot is nice. Acura MDX, nicer. We are a growing family here people, SUV's are where it's at!

A dead car was the low of the week. But!!! There is a high! I think Ruehl may be over his lactose sensitivity! [and the crowd erupts in exuberant joy and the angels sing the hallelujah chorus] The last few weeks I have been giving him dairy and I haven't noticed any changes in his demeanor or in his diaper. When I gave him dairy two months ago he cried all day and night and his diapers looked like pea soup. Bad, bad, bad reactions to dairy. I guess his little gut couldn't handle it. Our Pediatrician told me he would probably outgrow the sensitivity around a year and I am so relieved to say I think he has!

That is reason enough for me to say my glass is half full, one car or not.

xo,

Y